The Grass is Always Greener
by JooseBoxx
Summary: Somehow, Quinn and Puck somehow end up in each others bodies. It's not as fun as it sounds either. This is now how they planned to spend senior year. Bodyswap! Crack! Quick
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Not mine. No money. No affiliation.

He has no idea how it happened. Somehow though, after school ended for junior year and before the start of senior year, Rachel and Quinn became _friends_. What's even scarier is that Santana is not being a bitch about it. Because she's like, right there with them or something. Somehow the Unholy Trinity that was Brittany, Santana and Quinn turned into Rachel, Santana and Quinn and it's like, _really_ scary. It's some complicated story that Puck isn't all that sure about the finer details of. He knows bits of it; like when Santana crawled through his window one night just after summer started, tears drying on her cheeks and just curled up with him in bed. He found out three days later that Artie and Brittany had gotten back together. He felt really bad for Santana but he still couldn't help but be happy for Artie. It was clear that Artie adored Britt, and he's good for her. But Puck knows how much Santana loves her too. He's sort of sorry that Britt needs to deal with that.

It seems to be a good thing though. All around. Because Quinn isn't as much of a bitch with Rachel to balance out Santana's vicious nature and Santana isn't a psycho with people when Rachel and Quinn mellow her out and Rachel, well, shit, Berry's started sticking up for herself and damn if it isn't about time. Puck always knew that Rachel was just on the cusp of crazy town; she's freaky intense about stuff and that just rubs people the wrong way. But the girls are totally balancing that all out with her. Puck's pretty sure they'll rule McKinley next year and shit if that'll cut down on the metric fuck tonne of drama.

But even if they are pretty epic together, and fuck that just makes him think all sorts of nasty things, even if Puck is sort of friends with Rachel and tight with Santana like he used to be, Quinn and him still manage to scream at each other in the middle of some weird festival in the park. It's not like he doesn't notice this shit, but for some reason, Quinn still thinks it's okay to use him to make people talk or jealous or whatever. And it's not cool because, well, it's just not (Rachel gave him this whole long talk after he and Lauren broke up because she was worried he'd go back to his old ways and just bang anything that looked good, so he's sort of working on that because Rachel's sort of saw something in him that no one else has and fuck if he's not pussy for wanting to prove her right). And it's not just because he likes Sam, and it's not because he thinks that maybe Sam deserves a shot with Mercedes without Quinn trying to screw him over the way she did with Finn and Rachel, it's more because she thinks he should be completely fine with her just using him like that, he doesn't exactly mind her pawing at him or even kissing him in front of everyone, but when he knows she's just putting on this show to try and get Sam's attention, it's not cool. And fucking Christ, he's over that shit. So he has a few choice words for her, and she has a few for him and not a single person dares to get in between them.

She calls him a useless slut. He calls her an uptight, twisted bitch.

Somewhere, a bell chimes.

#

When Puck wakes up in a soft, lavender smelling bed, he wonders if he got drunk last night and blacked out on what he did. He doesn't remember getting drunk (he usually remembers the first half hour of drinking, unless he's really going for it and then it's maybe only the first three drinks). But he wasn't drinking last night, because he went to Finn's for some stress relief in the form of blowing up shit on the XBox and then he crawled his ass home at three in the morning when Carole finally got sick of the noise and kicked him out.

So he crashed, fully clothed, on top of his own bed. He's sure of it. But this isn't his bed and something feels _weird_.

He's pretty sure that if his heart hadn't stopped when he opened his eyes, he would've screamed -and not yelled, or hollered, no it would've been a fucking scream. Puck recognises Quinn's bedroom, because even though she's in a new house with her mom, she decorated her bedroom the exact same as she'd had it in the big stupid house before. So he's well aware that his heart is hammering in his chest because he's in Quinn's bed, in her room, and it doesn't look like she's there.

But then he sits up, and finds out just what the weird feeling is.

He has breasts. And slim legs and- Holy shit, he's a girl. He's not sure if it's possible to hyperventilate and puke at the same time but Christ he might actually do it. It's impossible to stand; his legs just give out under him while he panics. This can't be happening, it's some warped twisted dream, it's just a crazy nightmare (he's had a few, none as elaborate as this, but when he gets high he gets some really bad trips if he crashes out before it wears off). But he pinches his leg and he's not waking up and it actually hurts because he has stupid nails and softer skin or whatever.

"Quinn, honey," he freaks for a minute, trying to find where Quinn would've gone before he turns and catches sight of himself in the mirror. Only, it's not him, is it. It's _her_. He's _Quinn_. "There's someone at the door for you." Christ, he can't talk to someone now, he can't possibly, they'll think he's insane. But then, if he ignores Quinn's mom she might get pissed and Puck cannot deal with that.

He doesn't really think twice about crawling over to the door and pulling himself up, slipping out of Quinn's room in her sleepwear and heading down the stairs. It's a fucking trip when he sees himself standing awkwardly in the doorway. He is not drunk; he needs to be drunk to deal with this. But he just walks in the door, closing it and looking towards what Puck assumes is the kitchen and hissing into Puck's ear, "Tell her we're going upstairs," and this annoyingly strong arm is gripping to his elbow and Puck just frowns. He has to assume (hope) that it's Quinn walking around looking like him, and really, he doesn't understand what the hell is going on. "Tell her we're working on a song for going back to glee." Puck just nods with a jerk.

"Ma- Mom," he needs to remember that it's Quinn's voice and his words and hell, he needs to pay attention and not call Ms Fabray 'Ma' cause that will not go down well. "We're um, we're just going upstairs, glee project." He tries to smile; he thinks he pulls it off, because Ms Fabray just gives a small nod.

"Door open, Quinny." And really, it's not like Puck blames the woman, because she knows that Puck is the one that got Quinn pregnant, and really, his ma is pretty hard on the whole 'no girls in the bedroom' these days too.

"Sure thing." Quinn -in his body, and that's really freaking him out- heads up the stairs first and Puck follows her, cursing Quinn's stupid shorter legs. He doesn't close the door all the way, but he does close it at least half, because Ms Fabray doesn't need to hear the conversation that is about to unfold. "What the hell is going on?" Quinn's voice takes on this panicky pitch and Puck thinks he might be close to a full blown melt down.

"I don't know. I woke up in your room, in your body, with your sister jumping on your bed." Yeah, Sarah did that from time to time when she thought he was hungover, just to be a bitch and see what she could get out of him if she promised to stop and not tell Ma. Thank Moses he wasn't hungover that morning. "What did you do?"

"What? I just woke up." He honestly hasn't done anything to merit that accusatory tone, and that sounds weird coming from his mouth because he's not the accusing sort -not in a serious manner anyway, and Christ this is all sorts of fucked up. "I didn't do anything."

"You must've. Things like _this_ don't just happen." He'd like to point out that things like _this _shouldn't happen at all. "We need to get it back the other way, school starts in three days." Holy hell, he's hyperventilating again.

"Why is your body so prone to panicking?" He needs to sit down; he needs to stop freaking out. But he's a chick, with chick parts, and it's not as fun as people might assume because it's weird and he'd like his dick back right now thanks. He sits down on the edge of her bed, getting his breathing under control and Quinn sits on the floor, legs stretched out and it's weird to see himself there, but not be him.

"I locked myself in your bathroom for forty minutes and waited for the freak out that never came. It was a little worrying, but this sort of explains that." He is not comforted by the fact that he has to have a break down while she gets to just wait for it. He doesn't think that's fair since he's not the freak out type. "So, what did you do last night? After the festival?"

"I went to Finn's. We played Call of Duty, I went home. Seriously, I didn't do jack." The words sound weird coming from him with her voice and he's totally not going to get used to that. "What about you? You could've done something stupid."

"Rach, San and I went to the little vegan place she likes and got ice cream."

"How does that even work? Non-dairy dairy. It's stupid."

"Don't say that to Rachel."

"I wasn't gonna. I'm not even gonna talk to her." Except he might have to, because Quinn and Rachel are friends and stuff now and she might call or they might bump into each other and -shit. "Okay, I'm putting on clothes and we're going to fix this. I am not being you for longer than I need to."

"Wait, you want to go out like this?" Quinn sort of gestures between them and Puck rolls his eyes.

"No, I want to go hide in a fucking cave until I'm me again, but I don't think that'll work. So we're going out." He's this close to stamping his foot and fucking Christ that'd be embarrassing. "So, shut up and let me get dressed." Only he can't deal with her clothes and he ends up making her pick something for him to wear so that she doesn't hate him for choosing something she hates or that _clashes_. He should totally get points for closing his eyes when he's putting her clothes on.

Thankfully she picked a pair of pants for a change.

"So, we should start at the festival, and work back, right?" Puck just nods, pulling her hair out of his face and tying it behind his head in a really crap half ponytail, half bun. His ma wears it like that sometimes when she's doing laundry and it keeps it from his face so she can just not bitch at him. "Do you want to drive the truck? I'm not really all that sure of it."

Puck isn't all that sure of it with her shorter legs, and he needs to shift the seat a bit to reach the gas comfortably, but it's so much better than listening to her bitch about it.

#

The festival is a total bust, they end up just walking around while everyone is clearing things up and eventually they both just stop pretending that something is going to jump out at them with a big red fucking flag. And Puck's totally not okay with this, because she looks totally together and he knows that he should be the one not on the verge of breaking apart because sweet mother, this is stressful okay. They sit down on the edge of the fountain and watch everyone, ignoring the few glances they get. It's not uncomfortable, out of everything that's going on it's the least uncomfortable thing right then. His shoulder is pressed against her arm, and it's weird thinking of her as a her when she's currently a him and he's currently a she and now he's just getting a headache.

"So," she says it the exact same way he'd say it in most situations and it almost makes him laugh, almost. "What're we going to do?"

"It happened right? So, maybe it'll just like, turn back on its own." He really, really hopes that he wakes up tomorrow in his own body again. "Hopefully we'll just go through the day and then be back to normal." Quinn rubs her hand over her knee (his knee, whatever) before nodding.

"Best theory we have." It was the only theory, because this shit shouldn't be possible. "Do you want to hang out? While we're waiting?" It's not like he can go to Finn's, because Finn and Quinn are sort of not friends but polite to each other -Puck's pretty sure that's because of Quinn's hurt at being dumped again but he can't be overly sure. And he can't go hang out with Santana or Rachel, because that'll just be really uncomfortable. So Quinn is his best bet for company and they are sort of in each other's bodies.

"Yeah, okay. What do you wanna do?"

That's how they end up at the arcade in the mall, failing at DDR and wasting their money (his money, because Quinn actually has his wallet and he didn't pick up her purse or any crap like that) on games and those lucky dip things. But Puck can actually appreciate her laugh (his laugh? God, its confusing) when she just lets go about their failure at being coordinated with their bodies. He hasn't laughed like that since, God, forever. She doesn't make comment when he's pretty much staring at himself and wondering if he ever looked that _happy_ himself.

They bail on the arcade after they've pretty much sucked at every song choice there is on DDR and he's shot some zombie while she tries to do it too. They're both kind of hungry, so they head to the little Italian place in the mall and get something to eat. "You know, you're gonna end up giving me a rep." He's half way through some spaghetti and meatballs and he's never going to finish it because Quinn clearly doesn't eat and her stomach has like shrunk or something. Quinn had ordered some stupid salad and she's already finished it so Puck just pushes his half-finished pasta towards her. "Paying for the arcade, nice meal out, people will get ideas about me."

"Maybe you should just learn from this and do it all the time." That's not likely, so Puck just rolls his eyes and steals her diet soda, because his non-diet soda is starting to make his stomach hurt. Quinn demolishes the rest of the pasta and doesn't comment on the soda, even as she pays and they head out. "So, you eat more than me."

"Football, need the calories and carbs." Whereas, apparently, Quinn doesn't eat much and Puck therefore, is full on half a meal. "This is still weird." He drives the truck again, and to most people it would probably just look like some guy letting his girl try to handle the truck, but hell if he doesn't stall it twice because of his stupid short legs.

Habit makes him drive to Quinn's house without realising that it's actually his stop anyway and Quinn's going to have to take the truck back to his place. Quinn stares at the house for a minute before turning to him. "Do you think we should, like, stay together? In case we swap back?"

"If we swap back, our parents will freak out if one of us is in the others bedroom." Why he's the responsible one, thinking that, he has no idea, but he knows she sees his point when she nods. "Um, call, in the morning, yeah?" She just nods and Puck climbs out of the truck, watching Quinn slide over to the driver's seat and shift the seat back a little again. The truck rumbles away and Puck slips back inside Quinn's house, sighing against the door.

"Quinn, sweetie?" Shit, Quinn's mom. Puck doesn't really have much of an option but to head into the sitting room, smiling slightly. It's not all that hard to make Quinn's face work; he just needs to keep his usual sarcasm and lewdness out of it. "Did you have a good time today?"

"Yeah, spent time at the mall. Nothing big." The thing is, Puck doesn't know how to act around Ms Fabray. Quinn probably has a decent handle on his ma and Sarah, because she spent time with them when she lived with them, and Puck's not that close to his ma anyway.

"That's good." He's not sure if this is Ms Fabray's attempt to make up for missing most of Quinn's sophomore year or what, but it just feels a little strained. Maybe it's just him. "Are you all set for school?" He has no idea what Quinn would possibly need to be 'set' for school so he glances upstairs.

"You know, I should probably make sure I am." She smiles tightly at him and Puck just nods before leaving the room. It's still weird sitting on Quinn's bed, but it's only 10:00, he can't possibly go to sleep yet. He fishes around Quinn's room without being too nosy (because today was kind of okay and neither of them shouted at each other and he's not really down with her starting that tomorrow if he rifles through her shit) finding her cell phone and noting that Rachel has sent a text and then there's one from 'PUCK' which means it's from Quinn, to him. _Your Mom is still a bitch. What're you doing?_

He's very sure that his Ma was complaining about him being gone all day when he'd sort of promised he would be around. But then he hadn't planned on having his body swapped with his ex or whatever. _Chillin in ur room. Ur mom was askin bout ur day._ He really does hope that this all gets sorted out. He's pretty sure he'll never get the hang of talking to her mom, mostly because he's fairly certain that Judy Fabray hates his guts -and she has a good reason to, since he did impregnate her teenage daughter which may or may not have led to the revelations that her husband was a cheating hypocritical asshole and sort of break down her marriage, but whatever.

_She does that. Can I play your video games?_ It's weird that she'd ask, but he sort of knows that she loves playing Yoshi's Island, so he's not going to be a dick about it or anything. Besides, there's not exactly much else for her to do, kind of like for him really. _Only if i can dick around on ur laptop._ Because it's sitting there, waiting for him to just give in and use it. _Sure. But no porn. Or else._

And that is how he spends three hours playing her little Facebook games -Rachel has sent requests for help on her farm and cafe, and since Quinn's already got them, Puck just messes around with it for a while. It kills the time before he realises and then he figures what the hell and signs out to go to bed. He absolutely goes to bed with his fingers crossed that this is just a one day thing and he'll be back in his own room and his own body in the morning.

#

When he wakes up, he doesn't even need to open his eyes to know he's still in Quinn's body. Her hair is over his face and her bed is ridiculously comfortable and he's still a little weirded out by the boobs (he likes boobs, boobs are great, even if he is more of an ass guy, but he doesn't necessarily like having boobs himself). There's a text waiting for him from Quinn. _I'm coming over. We're going out again. Don't wear the same clothes._

It all means he needs to get up. And he needs to shower this morning, and there's only so much he can do without looking. He's seen Quinn naked, naturally, but not for a while, and even then he didn't exactly get a good look. He's standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, just looking. She's still got the same pert behind that he loves looking at in her Cheerio's uniform, and her tits (although mildly uncomfortable to lie on) are a nice handful and a pretty decent shape. She's complained about her abs before, but Puck doesn't get what she's bitching about, because her stomach is toned and flat and you can't even see the stretch marks. He doesn't get why she's so fucking nuts about her body and her looks because, Christ, she's hot.

And since he's been treated to a nice long look, he doesn't feel in the least bit bothered by pulling on one of her little bra and panty sets (it's a little awkward cause he's used to taking bras off not putting them on) and then fishing out another pair of jeans and a t-shirt to wear that doesn't look like the one she pulled out for him yesterday. He's not really sure what they're doing but they'll need to talk about shit and that's going to suck. Their one hope of this just fixing itself flew out the window and they have fucking school in a few days -two, but he's not counting, shit he is, he totally is.

Instead of coming in this time, Quinn just honks the horn on the truck from outside, so Puck leaves her hair wet and drying on its own, slips on a pair of her surprisingly comfortable shoes and grabs her phone and purse and a little jacket before bolting down the stairs. "Going out Ma- Mom!" He knows that Ms Fabray is up, he's heard her pottering around, but he doesn't offer any more than that when he leaves and pretty much hauls ass over to the truck.

"Seriously? You showered?"

"Do you want to reek like a homeless person?" He knew for a fact she'd get over the fact that he got her body naked to get clean, more so than she would if he'd just let her get all disgusting or whatever. "It's nothing I've not seen before. And seriously, I don't walk around all gross and whatever, so don't even think about it." Frankly, she needs to get over it now if they're going to be like this for any length of time (sweet Lord he hopes they aren't). "What're we doing today?"

"Going shopping. You need to get stuff for school." He's not sure if she means that he needs stuff for him in her body or if he needs stuff for her in his body, and that is starting to really get annoying, but he figures what the hell.

"You have a text from Berry. I didn't read it." He doesn't know if he wants to, because it might be an invitation to do something girly and he can't exactly put it off forever, can he?

"Read it." He was hoping she wouldn't say that. _Still on for Monday? :) Rach*_

"What's Monday?" Other than their first day back at school. "Hey, are you and Santana and Britt trying out for the Cheerio's again? Cause, like, I really don't know if I'm game for that. I might actually break your face." Puck is athletic, okay. But he is not gymnastic, and some of that shit that he's seen them do, he is not loving the idea of having to fake that come Tuesday when the try-outs would likely start if he's still in her body.

"We're having a girls night at Rachel's on Monday. Is that what the text was?" Quinn is avoiding the Cheerio's question, which means she wants to, but she knows Puck's right.

"Yeah, if you're still good for Monday." Which will probably be him. "I uh, I can probably tough it out, you know. With Rachel and Satan."

"If you do, you're going to need to know some things. Things that we've been keeping to ourselves. As in, girl stuff." Oh God shoot him now. "Let's shop first, text Rach back, and text like me Puck, and we'll figure everything out." He sort of hates how fucking calm she is about everything -is that a guy thing? Not panicking the same? Because Puck never used to freak out about shit like this, but he's pretty sure he's having a total chick moment. It must be the bodies and all her crazy girl hormones or whatever. Still, he texts Rachel back to say yeah, and has to delete three times so that he puts in full words and grammar and that's going to get really old really fast.

"Why do I have a sudden craving for ice cream?" Quinn just laughs a little, and he really sort of hates her a little.

#


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **Not mine. No money. No affiliation.

Except he totally doesn't. Because they get the ice cream that he really wants first and then walk around the mall. When they go to Old Navy he figures it's about his wardrobe that she's talking about -and that's bullshit because his clothes are fine, okay. Fucking fine. But she's not exactly listening when he tells her this. So they end up shopping for clothes for the whole morning and he's totally not on board with it (although he has to admit she doesn't go all flouncy on him and she does stick to simple jeans and plain t-shirts and a few new plaid shirts and he's only complaining because she's spending his money on clothes when he'd totally use it on something else).

"Your turn." Those two words totally made him hate her again.

He officially hates shopping, even if she's just sort of walking around and thankfully doesn't make him try all this shit on. It's all put on her credit card and Puck's two steps away from making her carry all this shit when he just takes a fucking breath and lets it go. They'll be back in their own bodies before he needs to wear any of them, it's not like he's going to have to figure this shit out with hair and make-up, right? It'll be fixed _long _before that becomes an issue. Only, they sit down to lunch in this little sandwich place where Quinn has a standing order or something since they smile when they see Puck and ask if it's the 'usual'. He just nods, because whatever, and Quinn actually orders something different before they take a table and he's pretty sure this is where that serious 'talking about things' stuff comes in.

"So, we're probably going to school on Monday like this." It doesn't matter that Puck already sort of knew it, having it confirmed in his own voice pretty much made his stomach drop in that annoying and awkward way. "And you're going to need to be nice to Rach and San." She's acting like he's a kid, he's not too pleased -although realistically, his glare on her face, it might actually be a little more effective.

"I am not a pre-schooler; do not start this shit, Q." He knows that he needs to keep up her appearance -God, he'll need to do her fucking hair won't he- and he knows he's going to have to do her stupid 'holier than thou' bullshit and play the 'nice sweet' cheerleader -or former cheerleader, he's still not sure about that because really, he wants to stay on the football team, but he can't ask her to put up with that if he's not going to try the whole Cheerio's thing.

"We need to get some things ironed out." So they sit there and talk, like actually talk about stuff -usually Puck just lets someone else talk and he zones out, but shit he needs to pay attention. She calls Rachel and Santana by shortened names, he calls Rachel a slew of nicknames he has to remember for Quinn and her last name.

"And only, and I mean only, if Satan is in a funk you whip out Lo'. You over use that shit and she'll figure something out. Or think I wanna date her." It was difficult to explain his relationship with Santana -he was the one she cried on when Brittany didn't break up with Artie, she crawled into his house when she was supposed to be on Britt's little talk thing, she stayed with him on Prom night when she didn't win. It was like she didn't mind him seeing her all vulnerable and stuff. "So, if she climbs up the guttering, just make comment on her being a fucking spider-monkey or something and then just let her vent."

Puck needs to learn how to actually listen to Rachel, and to do French plaits because apparently, Rach and San can't but Quinn can and on occasion, they ask for one. Fuck his life.

"You need to keep up my grades. If this is a long term thing," Oh sweet mother of, don't let it be a long term thing, "I need those grades to get into college."

"Well, you need to not be nice to everyone or whatever; I'm not having my rep go down the pan just because you've lost your bitch or whatever."

"So, dating."

"I am not making love eyes at Sam, okay. He's with Mercedes, he's not single, he's a boy and I am not doing it."

"You're friends with him, right?"

"If you use me, and I mean my body, to break up Sam and Mercedes I will shave your damn head."

It's settled that they just won't date until things are back to normal. Puck's pretty sure he can deal with that, because it's not like he's looking to hook up with anyone. There's been one girl since Lauren and he broke up at the start of Summer, and that was just some stupid three date rebound. He's fine with Quinn not using his junk, because let's face it, he's got a rep and if he suddenly sucks at sex there will be questions, and he will kill Quinn. And there's no way he's trying to get with Sam for Quinn. No fucking way.

"Do you boys share any secrets that might come up in conversation?"

"Not really, but Finn hits out with some random ass stuff sometimes, and Artie likes statistics, so that happens from time to time. Just, try and watch the original three Star Wars movies so that when Sam mentions something you're not blinking clueless at him, okay?"

#

Quinn pulls up outside her house and Puck's got to admit, she's getting much better at handling his truck. He's going to make a go of her car tomorrow -although he's sure it'll be simple, it's just figuring out the finer points and the size of the thing. She kills the engine and he figures there's one more thing.

"I want to be on the Cheerio's again." Yup, knew it was coming.

"Well, um," he wants to be on the team too, so, "Compromise? I'll try out, if you try and stick with football?" Quinn actually knows about football. She's been dating the QB for most of her high school life and she's been a cheerleader just as long. It's pretty safe to say she won't totally fuck it up. "I know some of your cheers. Maybe, are you still friends with Britt?" Because getting Brittany to run through cheers with him would be so much easier than Santana, because Brittany will ask fewer questions.

"Yeah. Yeah, she'd help. Okay, so we're doing this?"

"Looks like." Quinn just nods at him, so he climbs out. "Hey, um, will you come over tomorrow? I'm gonna need hair and make-up help if this goes on for too long." Right now, Quinn's hair is a bit of a mess, she said it was okay so long as he didn't get lazy with it. That means he needs to actually straighten or curl it sometimes. Quinn just smirks and nods and Puck figures he's in for hell tomorrow.

Ms Fabray does the same thing again. "How was your day?" And Puck is nice and calm as he runs down the shopping spree for Quinn's mom. He even pulls out a pair of the ballet flats that apparently, go with anything, in case Puck gets stuck. "You're spending a lot of time with that Puckerman boy." And Puck recognises the question in it, because his Ma does the same thing.

"We're trying to not hate each other." It's pretty much the standard answer Puck's going to give to anyone who asks him about him and Quinn hanging out. Because yeah, they've gone two whole days without arguing about anything -except that one pink baby doll dress that Puck was absolutely not wearing ever.

"That's good," Ms Fabray smiles at him, like she's proud or whatever, and cups his cheeks in her hands, "I'm glad you're both making an effort."

"Really? You, you don't mind?" This is weird, Puck had always thought that Ms Fabray would rather Puck and Quinn were never in the same township together never mind sitting in his truck together. "I sort of thought you would hate him." After everything with Beth, Ms Fabray had reason to hate him.

"Oh, sweetie, no." There's no more elaboration on that fact and Puck just sort of heads up to Quinn's room in a bit of a daze. Ms Fabray doesn't hate him. Weird.

He puts away all Quinn's new clothes -because he's not that much of a douche that he'll just leave them lying around her room- and then lays out on the bed to figure out what to do now. Fifteen minutes, one Google search and one of Quinn's Cabbage Patch Dolls later and Puck's a fucking French plait Jedi. He texts Quinn to inform her as such. He gets a smiley face in return.

#

What really irritates Puck is how he's starting to get used to waking up in Quinn's body. Quinn texts to say she'll be over after lunch, so Puck spends the morning pottering around with Ms Fabray before she goes out. Surprisingly, it's easy to relax around Quinn's mom this time. She talks about her job -and Puck didn't realise that Ms Fabray had a job, but it seems she likes having work now that Mr Fabray is out of the picture- about her friends and their plans for a long weekend in the next few weeks, about a potential dye job on her hair. "But you look pretty with blond. We match." Puck doesn't know what Quinn's opinion would be, but he personally thinks Ms Fabray looks fine. He gets that chicks are all about their appearance and stuff, and Puck's all for that cause hot chicks are hot, but when they overdo it, fuck. Puck doesn't get it.

"Puck's coming over this afternoon," Puck figures that if Ms Fabray doesn't mind him and Quinn hanging out then he should do the whole 'honesty with parents' thing. "We're going to finish up our Glee project." Not that they have one, but Quinn's really coming over to help Puck out with all these pesky girl-stuff things that he needs to know so that she doesn't kill him when they're back to normal.

So the day is spent showing Puck how to do the basics, and Puck is rather grateful that Quinn doesn't wear a lot of make-up. "Why do you even need this crap? Is not like you don't look good without it." He's pretty sure that he's said something right, because Quinn is in a pretty good mood for the rest of the day -even when she has to explain three times what goes with what and what clashes in her wardrobe. Puck never thought getting dressed could be so awkward.

"We can discuss waxing and shaving in a few days."

"Um, you need to shave every morning." Puck uses one of Quinn's delicately manicured nails to poke his own cheek. "Stubble is not something I am comfortable rocking." But that descended into a talk on grooming -seriously, she called it grooming- and Puck put his fingers in his ears and started singing Led Zeppelin really loudly until Quinn stopped.

"So, you'll meet Rach and San in front of the school tomorrow? Early, because Rach is always early."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be there at 8. Why the hell she gets there for 8 I will never understand. You're lucky, you get free reign to sleep in. Although Sarah needs to be at school before half past, okay? You need to drop her off." They've already compared their schedules, and Puck's fairly certain that he can cope with her classes and actually paying attention for a little while. He's fairly certain that his teachers are just going to be stunned that he actually shows up for class.

"Are you nervous?" He's not overly nervous, they've known each other long enough and well enough to manage to act like the other where they need. His biggest worry is someone -like Santana or Finn or Rachel- asking questions if they screw up somewhere.

"Not really, a little?" It's weird when Quinn hugs him, because he's pretty much hugging himself and he's the girl in this hug and frankly, it's the first weird thing he's felt since the boob thing. "You starting to freak out yet?" He expects that she might finally freak out at the worst time, because he has a tendency to ignore things until they explode -like when Beth was born.

"No, I'm fine. We're fine. It's going to be fine." Maybe if she says it enough times, it'll be true.

#

Monday comes far too fast, and Puck has another little break down in the bathroom when he's curling the end of Quinn's hair like she showed him. He's pretty sure he can pull this off, and he's hopeful that Quinn can too. It's just going to take a little bit of work -and self-restraint since Quinn made if perfectly clear that if he's not on his best behaviour that she will complete ruin him. Puck didn't ask how, because he's aware that Quinn has a devious mind (he always liked that about her). It's why Puck is up in plenty of time and dressed in what he's fairly sure Quinn said was okay for the first day back, and at school fifteen minutes before he's actually meant to meet Santana and Rachel. Only, Rachel's already there.

"Quinn!" Now, Puck still doesn't know what sparked the bonding between Rachel and Quinn, she didn't say what it was that brought the trio together, but Puck does know that Quinn is genuinely friends with Rachel this time (not faking it like she did the last time just so that she could keep Finn as her boyfriend) and that they share each other's secrets. Puck doesn't know all the secrets, but he does know a few, ones that Quinn had to tell him and swore if he used it against anyone she'd castrate him. "You're early."

"Not as early as you." Mostly, he's still not sure about the size of Quinn's car, so he drives a little slower than he would his own truck, plus, Quinn's body is just a little annoying at times. "How was your weekend?" Rachel went to Chicago with her Dads for the weekend, Quinn told him, and he has to ask how it was. Mostly, if Rachel is talking, Puck doesn't have to.

"Oh, it was fantastic!" She launches into the story of what happened, and Puck pays as much attention as he can, because Quinn might need to know details later and it'll suck if he doesn't know them -God, when did he start caring about that shit? Rachel's going on about some little bistro that she went to that made her think of New York and Puck nods along just as Santana screams into the car park with her signature skid -how she hasn't crashed yet, Puck doesn't know, but the girl is crazy wild. Rachel, apparently, doesn't approve of the recklessness of Santana's driving. "We'll be untangling her from a lamp-post one of these days." Puck doesn't necessarily disagree.

"Hey chicas, ready to rock the joint for one last year?" Santana is in strangely good spirits. Puck's never seen her excited for the beginning of a school year and -oh fuck, they usually have a pre-school fuck the night before! But then, Quinn would've text him, right? If Satan had showed up and expected something, Quinn wouldn't...would she?

"You're in good spirits, someone have a good night?" He tries to be casual; he's gotten the hang of using Quinn's voice. He can't have it dripping with sarcasm or dole out the utter filth he usually does, but Quinn's always had a sharpness that she can pull out of the bag that works fairly well for his comments, and he just needs to avoid his more colourful language to make it work out. Santana smirks her devilish little smirk and -thankfully- Puck knows that isn't her 'I got laid last night so I'm totally stress free' smirk.

"What, you don't check your mail anymore? We're back on the Cheerio's." Santana, apparently, was looking to get back on the squad as well. Puck didn't realise that it was something that Quinn had already discussed with the girls. But then, that was probably one of their girl talk topics or something. Rachel was hugging Santana (and man that was a sight) and grinning.

"What? Even though yo- we quit? We're just back on?" Coach Sylvester was all sorts of crazy -although she'd definitely mellowed out a little when it came to Glee after her sisters funeral, and that was cool because she was a touch more likeable when she wasn't totally psycho (she still didn't like Coach Beiste though).

"Coach has made Becky Captain this year or whatever. You, me and Britt just gotta make sure no one messes with her." Puck sort of knew Becky Jackson -she was an alright girl, and it was sort of cool that Sylvester was trying to help her feel like just a regular girl, since most of the teachers treated her different (hell, even he did), so it wasn't a big deal. "We're like the Captain's Lieutenants or something."

Rachel laced their arms together, sauntering them all into the halls while talking about how it would absolutely benefit them to be seen as the power trio -even if she was talking about a different power trio- of the Cheerio's, Puck sort of zoned out of that conversation, because undoubtedly Quinn knew why that was a good thing or whatever. They split off when they reached Santana's locker, Puck almost started heading for his own when he remembered to go to Quinn's instead, while Rachel practically bounced to hers.

Taping the class schedule to the door of the locker, highlighted study periods and everything, Puck noticed a slip of paper slid on the bottom of Quinn's neatly kept locker. It was the Cheerio's practice schedule, so that got taped up beside the class list. At least everything in Quinn's locker was easy to find -even if it did smell all fruity and stuff.

"How's this morning going?" Puck almost jumped out of Quinn's little ballet flats, hand clutching her chest as Quinn appeared beside him. "Oh, jumpy, I forgot about that."

"How do you get through life like this?" He couldn't stand the constant shock and freak outs. Seriously, Quinn had some serious frayed nerve syndrome or something. "You'll be happy to know you're on the Cheerio's again." Quinn raised an eyebrow at him in question. "Coach Sylvester wants you to watch Becky's back, so the three of you are back on. Or, I'm back on should I say." Quinn just nodded slowly. "Don't look so happy." But then, it's not like Puck made a point of smiling at school or whatever. "Anyway, things are fine so far. But you are ridiculously early for my standards."

"Dropped Sarah off early." As if that explained everything. Quinn shrugged one shoulder and Puck absently found himself growing annoyed with her.

"I'm going to slam this locker, turn around and walk away like you just insulted me. It's how I usually see our conversations end, so," Quinn smirked at him, even as he gathered her History book and notes in his arms and proceeded to do just as he'd said. He was pretty well versed in watching Quinn walk away, so he knew he got it down pat. Of course, he then walked into Rachel and Finn, who shared Quinn's History class.

"What was that about?" Rachel wondered aloud, looking back to see Quinn -or Puck really- smirking before heading to his locker.

"The usual, it's nothing." He wasn't about to think on something to rag on, because frankly, he didn't have the energy to bother right then. "Let's just get to class." Because even if they didn't start for another fifteen minutes, Puck could at least flip through Quinn's notes to see just what the hell she was doing in class and just how much work he was going to need to put into this. Which, in his opinion, was too much just by attending class.

"You know, you and Noah should try to get along. I understand that he can be difficult at times, but Noah just needs a little careful handling, for instance, you really hurt him when you called him a 'loser', Quinn. I understand that you were in a delicate place at the time, but Noah is much more than that, he just needs to hear that people believe in him sometimes." It should worry Puck just how much of an opinion Rachel has on him -it should probably also worry him that she's hitting a little too close to home with the comments there, but then, Rachel did have this weird way of making him actually consider his actions before he just rushed in. He never wanted to _impress_ Berry, it was more proving something to her. With Quinn, he'd always been trying to prove something and she'd just never seemed to get it or whatever. "And, if our plan for this year is to be fully realised, we have to put forth a united front."

"You know, you're right." Quinn had told him about their 'plan', their hope that through the course of the year they could change the perception of Glee so that there were new members this year and that next year New Directions would continue on without them. Puck understood that this desire mostly came from Rachel, but really, after all that Schue had given up for them, it was only fair that they tried to pay it forward. "I'm sure _Puck _and I can come to some sort of agreement." The fact that they were renting each other's bodies for the moment would no doubt help that.

#

Puck hated French. Almost like he hated Spanish, but Spanish was slightly easier than French because there weren't as many stupid rules and it did have the harder test -seriously, written, oral and hearing tests for one stupid language? But Quinn, it seemed, was like one of those annoying go getter types and had fucking Advanced French. With Hummel. Puck had only just managed to not head-butt the desk when he'd realised they shared the class. It was hard enough to keep up with things, never mind hold a conversation with Kurt at the same time and not bark at the kid -yeah, he didn't mind the little fruitcake anymore, not really, but seriously, this was hard enough to focus on. Puck did not care that Kurt thought Quinn's little ballet shoes were adorable or that the baby doll shirt was complimentary to her figure -which, come on, a garbage bag would be fucking hot on Quinn.

Thankfully, Quinn had a study between French and lunch, although she had plans to sit with San and Rach for lunch to further detail their plan for the year -and really, how the hell were they supposed to do that- which meant that Puck ended up in the library -of his own volition- reading through all of Quinn's current work. Seriously, the girl didn't take a break. Advanced French, Advanced Chemistry -although hopefully that meant blowing something up in lab- English Lit, stupid fucking History. Puck could deal with the likes of Geometry -although how the hell he was meant to get Artie to keep up the tutoring when he was in Quinn's body he had no idea- and really, why the hell Quinn was taking Home Ec Studies, Puck did not know because the girl could burn water. Puck figured that he'd use his superior culinary skills to make up for his lacking language abilities and just make sure that Quinn understood he was going to flunk French because it sucked.

He was in the middle of reading about the French Revolution when a black stick was poked into his face, "Quinn Fabray, what is your response to the rumours that you had liposuction during the summer? Any comment on the idle gossip about your current lack of a boyfriend? Is it true that you spent the night with Lima's bad-boy and your former flame, Noah Puckerman?" Puck knew that he wasn't allowed to toss Jacob Ben Israel into any lockers or wedgie the annoying little dirtbag, but that didn't mean he needed to be nice.

"If you don't get that thing out of my face and let me get on with my work I will make sure the entire school knows you still wet the bed and sleep with Superman pyjamas." Puck scowled at the gnat, waiting for him to scurry away before he noticed what Jew-fro was staring at. "And if you look down my top one more time, I will remove your testicles with a pair of rusty bolt cutters." Jacob scurries off fairly quick after that.

It's not until lunch that Puck sees Quinn and there's this pinched look on his face -her face, it's his face but it's Quinn's pinched expression and God he's going to give himself a headache, and Quinn's headaches suck. He's not exactly sure what it is he's done, but it's probably something he's done, because that is Quinn's 'I'm pissed at you because you're stupid' look. Although it does resemble his own glower that makes people just piss off and leave him alone.

They stand beside each other in the line for food, and Quinn is very careful in keeping her voice lowered, "You threatened Jacob?" Ah, she'd heard about that.

"The little maggot deserved it. He's lucky I didn't tie him the flag pole by his hair." Because that was the sort of thing that _Puck_ would do. "You never told me you take Advanced French. I haven't taken French in three years, Quinn. This blows."

"Your math teacher doesn't even know what you look like." Well, that's because he'd never actually attended maths. "And I've been propositioned by four cheerleader wannabes already." Well that's not entirely unusual. "They don't seem to take no for an answer."

"See, it was always easier to just say yes, bone them, and then walk away." Except he hasn't done that since Lauren, and frankly, he doesn't want Quinn using his body like that at all anyway. "Just keep up the mantra or whatever. Lie." He didn't think Quinn would be planning on doing anything other than that, but it didn't really matter.

"You have plans tonight, right?"

"Yeah, Britt's going to show me the routines after school and then I'm going over for this weird girl's night at Rach's. And right now I'm supposed to be over there," Puck tilted his head towards the table that Rachel and Santana had secured, "talking about the school domination plan. Not loitering around the jello talking to you." He made a point on smiling, so that Rachel would at least assume that they were having a friendly chat. "Rachel says I should be nicer to you. She thinks you hurt my feelings too much." Quinn scoffed and rolled her eyes, even though Puck caught the smirk.

"Like you even have any." Paying for lunch they sort of stopped for a second, as if it was a 'friendly' chat that didn't end just because they were finished with the line. "Call me when you get in from Rachel's?"

"Sure, and hey, if you get better at more than just Yoshi's Island, you should think about doing video game night with the guys, it's on Wednesday, at Mike's. They might mention it." Quinn just nodded before heading over to the Glock end of the jock table while Puck headed towards Rachel and Santana.

"What was that about?" San jerked her head towards where Quinn sat between Sam and Mike, already arguing about whatever.

"Olive branch." Puck just shrugged, getting a pleased smile from Rachel before the tiny little diva launched full steam into her thoughts on recruiting people for glee.

#

Between Brittany's demonstration of the cheers that she'd need to learn, then the girls night -which consisted of a pedicure, a leg wax and a face mask between gossiping about boys, college applications and music, Puck was ready to just collapse when he got back to Quinn's house. His muscles ached, although he was pretty pleased with the fact that Quinn's body seemed to remember the cheers even if Puck didn't. Following Brittany's moves was pretty easy, it just sort of clicked somewhere that he was meant to go into a lay off at some point and that was that.

At least he wouldn't be landing on his face in the middle of a routine if that was the case.

Quinn picked up the phone on the second ring while Puck shucked off the day's clothes and into the oversized shirt before flipping through Quinn's mail. "You are evil."

"Well, hello to you too." It was still weird hearing his own voice, but Puck was (scarily) starting to get used to it.

"You never mentioned anything about waxing at girl's night. My legs are fucking burning." And seriously, trying to play that off was almost impossible because that was a shock. "And what's with the mud on the face?"

"It's for the pores. How'd it go?"

"Fine, really. Rach talked about her and Finn's weekend plans, San mentioned some girl from Carmel that got Rach on about Vocal Adrenaline and then we got on to potential songs for Sectionals. We haven't even had our first rehearsal and Rach is talking about Sectionals. It's insane."

"She does that." As if that explained it all. "And the cheers?"

"Your body remembers them. It's pretty good. It's like when you know you can do something, you just haven't done it in a while, and then it all just comes back to you." It made him wonder, "You ah, you could probably try to play my guitar. Cause, well, it might come up at glee." He didn't always play, but it did happen enough that Quinn should at least figure out now if she could do it or not.

"I don't know the first thing about playing."

"Seriously? Sam never-" Puck stopped that line of questioning pretty damn fast. "Anyway, you should try." Because as possessive as he was about _his _guitar, it wasn't like he was giving it to some homeless guy. "But enough about me, how was your day, honey?" Quinn snorted on the other end of the phone.

"Well, _I _locked Jacob in a locker." And Puck had to laugh. "He was being a perv, he deserved it. Besides, it was totally in character for you and really, no one asked a thing. Although, you need to explain to me why Finn keeps blushing when Mike talks about his Mom."

"Finn flashed Mrs C. on the third week of break. It was a total accident, but he gave her a full frontal." Puck wasn't even in the least bit bothered about sharing that little tidbit, because really, Quinn should tease Finn mercilessly. "So, hey, San was right about this whole 'invited back to the Cheerio's' thing, I've got the letter here, which is actually very passive aggressive, does that mean I don't need to pick clothes every day and just need to wear the uniform?"

"Yeah, and I mean the full uniform."

"God, don't need to tell me twice. It's nice to see a little bit of an ass now and then, but the first person that is ogling mine, and by extension, yours, I will punch." Which made him think of something. "Hey, do you know how to throw a decent punch?"

"No. I slap."

"Um, no, you don't. Tomorrow, I'm showing you. My face is not getting messed up because you slap like a girl."

"Whatever you say. You have a free first thing tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, _I_ am supposed to be in maths, but after today, I really don't think they'll care if I skip. Meet me in the auditorium?"

"Sure, why not." Since both San and Rach had class first thing, Puck had been planning on just loitering around -maybe in the library again, because it was surprisingly calming- but why not have some company. "Right, from the cheering and the girl talking, I'm exhausted. I'll see you later."

All in all, the first attempt at living each other's lives wasn't a total disaster.

#


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **Not mine. No money. No affiliation.

**AN:** chapter contains scenes of a sexual nature. With confusing pronouns.

What really freaks Puck out is how well it works.

They make it three weeks before either of them start to screw up, and Puck's kind of proud of that. He's figured out the hair stuff, it's not that difficult, and Kurt totally interfered and showed him these little 'tips' on how to manage shorter hair. Puck did not complain because it was free advice on _hair_. Puck didn't even 'condition' his own hair, so whatever. The make-up is simple, because if Quinn doesn't know she looks damn good then she's blind and possibly insane, so Puck doesn't need to learn more than the basics (if he was Tina, he'd die, because there is no way he'd learn all that shit, and there'd be the Mike thing, so he's pretty glad he's not Tina). The cheerleading actually came pretty easy, they learned that the body seems to remember doing these things from before, so they just have to think about them and it works -it's annoying that Quinn gets his gaming skills, his guitar playing, his punch throwing, his football tackles and he gets her cheerleading and dancing. Seriously, it's lame. He totally begs off school when Quinn goes on the rag and she totally shows up after school with ice cream, sobfest movies and a heat pack that she places over his tummy. Puck blames her stupid hormones for snuggling into her side and crying at the end of Walk to Remember. It's the stupidest movie he's ever seen and that is that.

So, three weeks into things, he's not failing her French class as much as he thought, although Kurt ends up being his class partner because Puck pretty much _demanded_ that he be made Kurt's partner when the teacher was handing out the assignments. Kurt's under the impression that Quinn is making sure no one picks on Kurt for whatever. Puck is making sure that Quinn doesn't kill him for failing French.

But it's really not as bad as it could be; Rach and San are still Rach and San, although Puck can actually put up with this version of Rachel. She still talks a lot, but sometimes she's witty about it and not just condescending (and yeah, she's totally putting words in his mouth) and San's just always been a bitch so he's used to it. He's gotten the hang of girl talk too; they talk about guys a lot, and what they want to do with their life, and if they think certain actors are gay or not. He's had four facials now and he's pretty sure it's Quinn's body that likes the manicure/pedicure thing, but the waxing isn't all that bad when you get used to it.

The hardest thing to get used to, without a doubt, was the change in their singing. Quinn's voice is not suited for his usual brand of music and Quinn had the same issue. So he pointed out some of his favourite songs in his music collection, gave her a list of bands and singers and whatever and she did the same. He's pretty sure she's a hippy with all this music about love and freedom and whatever, but she's got some Bikini Kill in there and that surprised the shit out of him. He told her he was adding some other awesome chick bands and she had to get over it, because he wasn't getting all Melissa Etheridge in there. No one in glee really notices anything, beyond Rach giving him a funny look the first week, before he and Quinn figured things out and then it was fine. He wonders if he actually wants one of them to figure it out -preferably someone who might have an idea on how to fix things, not Finn or Brittany, but like Kurt or Artie or Rachel or Santana maybe, or Tina, Tina knows some weird shit. But they don't seem to notice even the slightest change.

So, three weeks in, when _Puck_ absently flirts with Mercedes, he's about to lose his shit with Quinn. At this point, Puck knows that the first floor girl's toilets between the guidance office and the English department is where shit goes down. So grabbing Quinn in between classes, pulling her into the toilet and shoving the doorstop into the door to stop any interruptions is just the best way to go. "What the hell is your problem?" Puck's found that Quinn's voice is fairly dynamic, because she can still sound pissed off, confused and not like nails on a chalk board, all at the same time. "Are you actually having problems with 'don't dare break up Mercedes and Sam'? Because I don't know where that's difficult."

"Oh please, if a little bit of flirting is going to break them up they shouldn't be together." He doesn't get it -really, he doesn't, it's not the whole ego thing or anything, he just does not get why she wants Sam so bad. Sam's great and all, a little loose in the head sometimes, but he's a bro. But Quinn doesn't get that -she doesn't get his dorky side, the side that does finger painting and reads comics and totally digs Revenge of the Sith over Empire Strikes Back. Quinn doesn't even get Star Wars jokes.

"You are a piece of work. He's with Aretha, stop messing in peoples shit." It's not because Sam and Mercedes are like, made for each other like Rachel thinks she and Finn are, it's not even because Puck's not that into Mercedes (she's fun and all, and she's pretty cool, but they are totally just friends). It's more because Sam has some major trust issues since Quinn fucked him over, that he's kind of paranoid about his relationship with Mercedes and Puck is not going to be the one giving him reason to think there's something wrong. He's not going to be that douche that goes for his friends girls again. "I swear to God, if you don't back off I will force myself to make out with Jew-fro in front of the whole school. I do not care, I will do it."

"You wouldn't."

"That's my bro you're messing with. Back it the hell off or I will." They haven't actually fought since this whole thing started, which was a record for them. But it turns out the weirdness was probably just overshadowing their personalities again and the friction was starting up again in true fashion. Puck didn't even wait for her to make her comeback -because they could stand there all day and argue, really, they were that good at it- so he just kicked the doorstop out of the way and left the bathroom to head, late, to her History class.

#

Rach and San noticed his mood pretty easily, but he didn't share the reason why. At lunch, Quinn flirted with three other girls, and Puck didn't even care who they were or if they were hot, but they weren't Mercedes so he figured that was something. Sam and Mercedes _seemed _fine at glee and Quinn stayed the hell away. It was good that she took his threat seriously, because making out with Jacob Ben Israel was not something he wanted to do. Although he was painfully hard up for any action, that annoying reminder that he was in a girl's body and Santana was probably the only chick who was into that -except Brittany but she was dating Artie and he'd made the whole 'no other people' thing kinda clear for her this time. Which meant no action at all, which was worse than when he was dating Lauren, because she at least gave him a little something.

And apparently, girl's moods stayed for ages. He was sitting in Quinn's room, homework actually completed, listening to music -which he'd just said fuck it and bought his own taste off her iTunes- and he was still pissed off. He should've been able to just game it out, because he did that all that time, but Quinn in her ever stupid girly way, didn't have a games console at all -like not even a DS, and Puck was losing his mind. He was about ready to call Rachel and ask for an impromptu 'girls night' for the two of them, because he'd gotten good at speaking Rachel which meant he could vent without giving too much away, when the doorbell rang.

Ms Fabray had gone on her little society retreat thing, she was gone for the rest of the week which meant Puck actually needed to get up and traipse down the stairs to answer the door. Great.

When he opened it to his own face, he smirked, and slammed the door on Quinn. "Ha ha, very mature. Open the door, Puck." It was weird, remembering to answer to Puck and to _Quinn_, especially his own voice calling him by his own name and everyone else using hers. It bugged the life out of him sometimes that they couldn't just tell someone; it annoyed him even more that things weren't back to normal yet. It was almost a month and he was still a girl and it sucked. "We should talk this one out, okay? Because we're not going to get anything done if we're mad at each other."

He really hates when she has a point. So, they have something to eat in the kitchen, after he explains that her mom went on that retreat and her Dad totally tried to get her to stay with him for the week until Puck had one of the most epic screaming matches with him just to get Ms Fabray to say no. It was easy, Puck knows that Quinn hasn't made up with her Dad yet and that's all good, because Puck got to scream about issues that he'd thought he'd put to rest but turns out he just buried. It was pretty cathartic or whatever. Even if he did start crying half way through.

"This thing, with Sam and Mercedes," he knew it would come up, but he didn't expect it would cause another flare of annoyance in him.

"Listen, you might not think it's a big deal, but it is. You really did a number on that guy," and that is something he, Finn and Sam have in common, the Quinn Fabray baggage, "and Santana didn't help. He's a great kid, okay, and Mercedes is better for him than you, and it's weird, yeah, the football guy and the singing geek, but Finn and Rachel make it work, so just let Sam and Mercedes hash it out on their own, would you?" Some jocks just aren't meant to date cheerleaders. Apparently most of the glee kids don't adhere to the social norms that Coach Sylvester would like them to stick to (fuck, Rachel is messing with his vocab again).

"This is a big deal for you, isn't it?" He should be glad that she actually notices when something matters, he should at least be glad that she's not being a total stuck up, selfish snob like she would've been if this was two years ago and she was still that girl. Really, it irritates him that she might know him that well. Only Santana really knows him that well.

"Yeah, because even if you get the guy, I'll still be the douche that messed up his friends relationship. Again." And really, that was not a stigma he really wanted back, because getting back to things being okay with Finn was hard. He really didn't want to have to do that with Sam when _he_ wasn't the one that screwed things up.

"Okay."

"Okay?" That was like, the lamest answer or response to a guy being fucking honest. Seriously, he's doing the feelings bullshit and she gives him 'okay'? What is up with that?

"Okay, I'll let it be. But if they break up before I get my body back, you better make the effort to get in his good books." He figures he'll have a better shot at that than she will, because she is not good at proving herself trustworthy because hell, she never really thinks she's done something that needs correcting. It's a pain that sometimes she doesn't really need to anyway.

"Hey, your mom's away until Monday afternoon, you wanna come over tomorrow? Rach is doing some weird whatever with Finn, I didn't ask details because it sounded like one of those Crazy-Rachel things, and Santana's got a family thing. I'm bored out of my mind in your house." Because there was nothing fun, and Ms Fabray was on some program that meant no alcohol in the house and frankly, he could only do so much. Quinn just smiles and nods and they spend the rest of the night on the sofa watching all the shows she doesn't get to watch at his house that he still TiVo's for her. God, he's a pushover.

#

"All right, what's going on with Puck?" Puck has no idea why he is the one that Kurt and Mercedes corner during their study break, but wow, awkward.

"There isn't enough time to answer that question," putting himself down is really starting to become a problem, "care to narrow it down a little?"

"He was hitting on Mercedes, then he was hitting on Jill Andrews, then he was hitting on Becky -and I don't think he was doing it in a mean way, but he totally made her day, and today he was flirting with no less than four Cheerio's at the same time." Well, at least his rep isn't taking hits -although being nice with Becky will only work in his favour because she's Captain of the Cheerio's.

"Um, I'm not sure where the question is in this. He broke up with Lauren during the summer, isn't he past due for his rebound?" Puck never thought that stupid chick-flick movies would come in handy, but really, being a girl is too much like studying for life and it sucks. "Seriously, it's like his thing, isn't it? Flirting and hook-ups. At least he's not being a total whipped dog anymore." Mercedes rolls her eyes, but, for all that they like Lauren -and Puck was genuinely surprised at that- they all seemed to think he and she were better off not together. Weird.

"Okay, rebounding is one thing, but the boy is flirting and not paying out."

"And you want him to, what, hook up with everyone?" See, this is where he has problems. Girls say they want someone who listens and talks and shares their feelings, not someone who just wants sex. But then when you try to do the whole feelings and listening and shit, they want sex. It's such a freaking ride, and not in the good way. And why did these two think that _Quinn _was a good person to talk to about his apparent flirting? Seriously, nothing makes sense. "He's probably just blowing off steam, what does it matter?"

"Because, boy is far more focused with one girl, not twelve." Which is true, he'll give Mercedes that. But Quinn doesn't seem the type to want to be the guy in a relationship with his body and frankly, Puck isn't up for that either, so she can flirt with anyone she wants, but Puck's pretty sure she's not following through at all, with anyone.

"And you're telling me this, because," he'd really like them to get to the point, because he does actually have to study this period because stupid Mrs Miller decided that tests were good and he does not believe he will be passing this stupid English Lit paper without some study cramming.

"While it is known and understood that you and Noah have history," who the hell told Hummel he could call him 'Noah'? And if it was Quinn Puck is going to have to have words, "it is also known that he tends to listen to what you have to say." Quinn's eyebrow raises into her hair line because Puck had never fucking noticed that and damn it's true. "So, 'Cedes and I thought, maybe, you could talk to him about his, well, promiscuity and maybe convince him that, if not Lauren, maybe his attentions would be better funnelled into someone else." He'd rather drive an ice pick through his skull, but.

"I'll keep it in mind." And since Quinn is not overly friendly with these two beyond glee and French and sharing History with Mercedes, well, she can just sort of, "I have an English test to study for now, so if you're finished with the interference in _Noah_'s social life, I have to go." And really, his good intentions to study have just been shot to hell, because Princess and Aretha just gave him far too much to think about.

Why does he always tend to sway towards Quinn's intentions? He knew that, when she was pregnant, he'd go to whatever lengths she needed him to. He did screw up big time for her and really, getting her what she needed and wanted only seemed like the least he could do. When she wanted to 'appear' like a couple so that people didn't comment about 'single mother' status and whatever, well, he stopped sleeping around and held her hand in the hallways and staged arguments and did the 'boyfriend' stuff. When she needed the most specific thing at three in the morning and he had to drive two hours to get it, well, he only complained to himself in the truck while getting it for her.

But even after all that, after they gave up Beth and they'd agreed that no, they didn't want to try anything -mostly she'd said she didn't want a relationship or whatever and he'd been pretty much down with not getting serious with anyone, ever- he'd still been swayed by what she'd wanted. At least until he drove the car through the side of the store and tried to 'steal' the ATM (apparently, getting drunk, crashing into a building and ending up with the ATM embedded in the window of the car is 'stealing' now). And then he was just a mess. But whatever. It was confusing that Quinn's opinion mattered, like when Santana was ragging on Lauren, Quinn actually stopped him to say that it was admirable that he was seeing past looks and getting serious about someone. He really needed to wonder why that meant more than anyone else asking what he was thinking.

By the time English is set to start, Puck is no closer to figuring this shit out and he hasn't studied a damn thing. The only way this day could get worse would be if Mr Schue started rapping.

#

With Ms Fabray away, Puck discovers that Quinn doesn't know how to cook, like at all. Ms Fabray has left the fridge stocked up with meals that just need heating up, all of them Quinn sized portions -and Puck still hates that he's eating at least half, if not less than that, than what he usually ate. He can't eat a whole pizza by himself now, he probably only makes about three slices before he's fully, while Quinn can use his body and eat the whole thing. It's totally not fair. Puck just totally needs to eat little and often. It works, sort of.

So Quinn has dinner with Puck's Ma and sister, and he's really starting to miss them now that they're almost a month into this. It's not that Ms Fabray isn't a great mom, but she's a great mom _for Quinn_. Really, Puck misses his Ma bitching about her work and telling Sarah to 'please stop using felt tips as eyeliner' and complaining about Puck's messy room and having take away meals and just the family dysfunction that is _his_ family. Ms Fabray bemoans Quinn's short hair but always compliments her prettiness and talks about all these society people and fashion and gossips about people Puck doesn't know and sure, it probably works for Quinn, but Puck isn't at all interested in it. Plus, without Sarah annoying him every twenty minutes he does get horribly bored in Quinn's room. He's taken to watching all of her ridiculous television shows, developing a terrible addiction to Gossip Girl and although he absolutely hates everyone on Project Runway, he can't miss an episode.

He is legit turning into a girl.

When Quinn does show up, Puck totally uses it as the excuse to watch the episode of One Tree Hill that she's got recorded and that is what he's sticking to -she totally knows he's watching her shows because they all display the last time they were played and frankly, he doesn't care anymore. She's getting the better end of this deal in his opinion and they've already done that argument (she totally thought that inappropriate erections, fart jokes and peeing standing up was worse that cramp, menstrual cycles, mood swings, boy drama, waxing, weight expectations, hormones _and _girl fights -which are nothing like on the television) so she just ignores it as she well should. He gets a little lost mid-way through, because he's not sure on all of the characters and it's the sixth season, which is stupid. Quinn shows him where her DVDs are and they break out the first season.

"Okay, why is she with that douche when he's supposed to be with Hayley getting all good boy and Peyton's supposed to be with Lucas? Really, this is stupid, anyone can figure this shit out." Frankly, Puck's of the opinion that Luke is a dork and should've stuck with Brooke, cause the girl is fine and such a firecracker. But after listening to Quinn's argument about the creative pull and the artistic integrity of the Leyton pairing, well he stopped pushing for Brookus.

"Because, Peyton needs to realise that popularity isn't everything and she wants to be with Luke."

"Am I seriously going to need to put up with six seasons of them being stupid and not hooking up?" He gets pissed off with them four episodes in and Quinn gives in when he begs for a football game to watch -at least so he can pretend he's still a dude. They talk about practice, how she's getting on with the football team -she finally got over the whole 'naked guys' thing when Puck explained that no one actually looked below the waistline because it was just a little bit pervy, and Quinn asks about Cheerio practice.

"It's good, it's fine. Coach S doesn't seem to like when I call her on her comebacks, so I should probably stop doing that."

"What?"

"Well, Britt almost got dropped yesterday, and she asked us if we thought this was hard we should try infiltrating a small country. I asked if she'd ever pushed a baby out from between her legs, told her that was hard. I mean, it looked pretty fucking hard core, not that I would know." See, he doesn't really _like _Sylvester -he respects the shit out of her, but she's always just been this stuck up, get my own way and screw everyone else kind of woman that fleetingly shows signs of being human. Having to deal with her every day when he's used to Beiste -and Coach Beiste is a woman that you respect but sort of like at the same time- so Sylvester isn't really that intimidating to him.

"What did she say?" Apparently Quinn shares the same shock that the rest of the Cheerio's felt.

"Nothing, she sort of turned purple and left. I mean, it's not the first time I've said anything, I think it's just the first time she's heard it." Santana had asked if there was something wrong the first time he'd muttered something in response to her, but Puck had just played it off as being tired. But then, as if San sort of knew Sylvester wasn't listening that closely, she started to laugh at what Puck said -Puck and Santana had always had a pretty similar sense of humour, it totally worked for them. "I think Becky was the only one unimpressed and that's because Becky is a mini-Sue in training. I swear, if it wasn't for Becky I would think that Sue was really the Devil."

"Oh my God. No one has ever stood up to her before." Puck totally figured that one out on his own, thanks very much. It was unnerving, the way the Cheerio's seemed to like, worship him or something -he knew it was Quinn, she still had pull from before she dropped the baby and then quit, they all saw her as like, this Goddess, and fair enough. But with _him _getting tired of just taking Sylvester's comments she was like, their Queen or something. Santana was actually cool about it, surprisingly. She just wanted kick back privileges.

With the football game over, Puck lets Quinn pick a movie while he makes some popcorn, considering how they were just yesterday Puck's pretty glad that they aren't having their all-out war any more -sometimes their arguments could last several days if not into multiple weeks. Sometimes he even forgot what the initial argument was about, and she did too, he knew it, she just never admitted it. But, beyond the Sam and Mercedes thing, they were totally cool. It was surprising.

He walked back into the main room to find her with _Chocolat_ on and he should've known she'd pick something like this. He's not sure he gets very much of it, although he's totally proud that he understands the French in it and that is pretty impressive for him. So he ends up sort of leaning into Quinn, except he's totally leaning into himself and he gets why chicks dig that whole 'snuggling' thing because it kind of rocks, no lie. Quinn just snorts at him when he tells her as much, but she puts her arm around his shoulders and he totally cuddles further into her side. It only gets mildly uncomfortable once. When Vianne and Roux start getting steamy on the little boat and Quinn shifts a little. Seeing a blush on his own cheeks is totally weird. "I um, that part always sort of, you know, gets to me. It's just-" Puck just nods, because, yeah.

"It's pretty fuckin' hot." She just snorts at him, but doesn't argue and they settle, if a little awkwardly to watch the rest of the movie and he'll admit, he doesn't hate it. So, he sort of likes her stupid teenage drama television shows, and he's not completely repulsed by her chick-band music, her mom isn't the worst thing in the world, her friends are pretty cool and he's coping with her classes. All this is one thing. But he's totally just gotten turned on in her body and that shit has never happened before. Which is what starts the conversation.

"So, I had a weird talk with Aretha and Hummel today." He's mostly started using everyone's names, at school at least, because Quinn is all about identity being the gate to whatever and he just flows with that shit now. "They totally expect me to stage an intervention on your flirting. I mean, I'm all for it, at least Sam won't think I'm macking on his girl, and my rep isn't taking any hits, but I'm just wondering why they'd come to _you_ about _me_." Yes, he and Quinn had a baby together a year ago, but they never really dated -not exactly. If anything, Lauren would be the go-to point on him and his relationships, maybe Santana if Lauren was low on sugar and thus in one of her more 'break the first thing that looks at me' moods. But Quinn? Not so much.

"Really? What were they saying?" So he fills Quinn in on the whole conversation, adlibbing the bits that he forgot but pretty much getting the general point across. He doesn't mention the English test though, because then they'll get off point. "They are never happy. During the summer they were totally commenting about you and Lauren and losing your mojo. But really, I can tell you, it's not lost." He raises an eyebrow in question and she shrugs, "Do you always get offers from girls to go to the nearest janitor's closet during the middle of the day?"

"Only the really slutty ones." Hey, it happened. It was the price he paid for being such a stud. "You are turning them down, right?"

"Yes, yeah. Of course." She answers far too fast.

"Quinn. You had better not be-"

"Seriously, I am. I say no every time, but _God_," she's totally frustrated, like, sexually, he can see it. "Is it like this _all_ the time? I mean, I totally got aroused in English this week. I mean, granted Miss Holiday is subbing our class so it might be a little of that, but really, just constantly. I'm still totally turned on from watching one scene in a movie I probably know off by heart." Puck understood that, really, he did. It was one thing to get yourself off, but sometimes that wasn't enough and you needed more and really, he totally understood. And it was probably different for Quinn now, because for all that Puck got turned on in his body, he'd only just really felt it in hers. He wasn't sure if it was because he was still totally freaked out about the fact that he was a girl or if it was really just a case of girls not getting boners at the drop of a hat, or skirt. You know, figuratively speaking.

He's not really sure why he does it, not really, but Puck's not know to think things all the way through. The bowl that held the popcorn is placed on the floor and Puck moved until he was straddling Quinn's lap. It was weird, really, _really_ weird, because he was staring at himself and yeah, he was getting used to the whole not having his body or whatever, but this was just a little bit further than that. "Maybe, you just need to deal with it." He totally loved the sultry tone he could put into Quinn's voice, and if she used that voice then hell, she could get anything she wanted. He brought his hands up to rest on Quinn's shoulders and Quinn, absently he figured, ended up with her hands running along the outsides of his thighs, he totally had her thinking about this. "There is a reason why I pretty much _need_ sex sometimes."

Okay, so now he's thinking it through, and it's not such a bad idea. He really doesn't think they should have sex with people while in each other's bodies, but it's totally different if they have sex with each other, isn't it? That way, they get the pay off, but no one outside of them really knows what's going on. It's practically genius -except for the whole swapped bodies' thing- and solves two problems. Because girl arousal is pretty fucking weird, hot, but weird. He just has to shift himself a little closer in Quinn's lap and, yep, there it is. He doesn't even mind, pressing his hips forward and against the length of arousal that Quinn is totally trying to hide. "What do you think you're doing?" She's not sold on the idea then, but Puck's pretty good at reasoning things out.

"This doesn't go away, it's just sexual tension, rubbing one out isn't gonna help. And I know you're all about commitment before sex and all that, but seriously, Q, I'm dying here." He leans in to nibble at the lobe of his own ear, because it's the one thing that pretty much shuts him the hell up if he's even trying to say no to sex (he did it once because he felt like shit and Santana totally pulled that out of nowhere) and he really wants to know if it affects her too. The way she grips his waist and pushes her hips up into him, yeah, it totally works. She twists her head and they kiss. At first he tries to get control from her, before he remembers that he's the girl in this or whatever and gives it up. Quinn really seems to dig that. It's not too different, and just kissing, pressing towards Quinn and feeling that hardness against him through their clothes; it is totally turning him on. It's totally doing the same to Quinn.

It's a surprise when Quinn slips a hand under the back of his shirt, skimming a hand over his back and sending this jolt of something down his spine. He just moans into his own mouth as Quinn gives a huff of a laugh. "Are we doing this?" Quinn sounds out of breath, a little turned on -okay, a lot turned on, and just a little unsure. Puck just nods, because seriously, weirdness aside, he really wants to do it. "Upstairs?" Puck is lightning fast in getting the television off and locking the front door, flicking off the lights and pulling Quinn upstairs with him. It's definitely not how he expected to spend the night when he'd mentioned to Quinn to come over, he'd seriously just wanted the company without having to remember how to act. But Quinn pushes him into her own bedroom, hands on his hips and directing him back until he's pressed against the wall and she dips down just slightly to kiss him again. It's definitely different on this end of things, but when his hands wrap around Quinn's shoulders and he leans up against her, it hardly matters what he's used to because the lust and desire spikes in his gut and _throbs_ between his legs in the most delicious way possible, and girls totally don't suck.

What surprises him is the thrill when Quinn's hands brush over his breasts (her breasts, his breasts, he's totally claiming ownership while he's wearing the bras) because he never felt that when he touched them -and yeah, he totally had a feel of them, because he remembers being briefly acquainted with them and frankly, he was disappointed that he didn't really feel all that great when he touched them. But other people touching, apparently, is amazing. Quinn's mouth trails to his throat and her hand slips under his top and she's fondling over the plain bra Puck's got on and frankly, Puck thinks it's the best he's felt for three weeks. He totally wants more. His tops off in a matter of seconds, and he's currently wondering why he didn't think to do this earlier, while pulling Quinn's shirt off so that they're a little more even. He's trying to get them to the bed, because horizontal would totally work better for them right now, when Quinn gets the bra off as well and then closes her mouth over one nipple while her hand sort of massages the other and _fuck_ he didn't expect it to feel that good.

See, he's totally got this from the other side, but feeling all this shit, what it does, just why girls are so into some of this stuff, shit that's totally new and pretty damn awesome at the same time. Quinn slips an arm around his waist and they're hips press together while she pulls them away from the wall and Puck totally gets back in the game to urge her over to the bed, pushing her down and straddling her again. She's pushing his jeans down even as he's pressing their mouths together again and really, just the feel of skin to skin is making his skin tingle. Quinn flips them, pushing Puck down into the mattress and rolling her hips to spark this friction between them and Puck knows exactly what she's feeling, this anxious need for more, for something better, something hotter. They really aren't coordinated enough to get each other out of their pants and underwear, so Puck bats her hands away and takes care of his own while she strips from hers. And really, that's when he realises that this is a little messed up; he's in her body, she's in his, they are totally naked with each other and this is really taking self-gratification to a whole new level (Puck makes a promise with himself right there and then that he's hanging out with Berry and her vocabulary way less, because this shit is totally not cool).

He's not sure if Quinn is hesitating on the same thing, or if she's actually come to her senses completely and realised that Puck must've been smoking something, but he stops thinking about that when Quinn presses a soft kiss to his jaw before slipping her hand between his legs and _holy shit_ that feels good. He's spreading his legs for her before he even realises it, opening himself up and pressing his hips up for more. Quinn sort of presses her body to his side (and it's his body pressing in against him, his hard on bumping against his hip, it should be weird, right?) and keeps pressing kisses up Puck's jaw while her fingers move, "So tight and hot, God." Puck just mewls, he remembers that mewl, he totally got it out of her the last time, he'd totally heard it a dozen times he was sure. "Is it good? Am I doing it right?" Puck can't really believe that he's expected to form coherent sentences right then.

"So good, just, fuck, it's so good." His hips are rocking upwards, half fucking himself on her fingers and Christ he's practically desperate for it, but it's been so fucking long and it's so fucking new that it's like the first time all over again (in a way, it totally is). His hand grips to her wrist, not stopping or pulling away, just holding on for something to hold to.

"You did this, remember?" And he does, he totally does, "I tried to do it myself after, it really didn't work. But, you did this thing with your fingers." God, he absolutely did not expect the talking from Quinn. But if that's what his voice sounds like when he's doing this, it's no wonder he gets so much action, really. But Quinn gives him a demonstration on just what it is he does with his fingers -curling two upwards and stroking with _just_ the right pressure, and fuck, Puck's practically shaking. "Yeah, that was what I thought too." His back arches, heels digging into the bed as he still tries to push down. "But it's not enough, right? Really need more, don't you? That's what this was for, wasn't it?" She copies exactly what he'd done -two fingers curling and stroking while he'd rubbed circles over her clit with his thumb, mouth sucking just the lightest of pressures under her ear- and Puck's falling apart to this searing, burning, agonisingly perfect bliss that shudders through him and he's definitely moaning her name. She keeps up the movements with her fingers until he literally cannot take it anymore and practically whimpers from the over sensitive nature. "Wow, that is so hot." Her hips are jerking against his hip, and Puck is not going to be the girl he sort of hates, so he rolls just slightly, giving her more of a surface to rub against while his hand curls around her erection and strokes. He knows exactly how to get himself off, how to twist his wrist, where to swipe his thumb, how much pressure of nail to use when he knows the edge is right there.

His teeth graze just over Quinn's throat at the right second that his fist tightens and his thumb flicks just right at the crown and Quinn moans and shudders and climaxes over his stomach and it's totally not gross like he'd think. They're both out of breath, and he's actually getting a little sticky now, but it's so totally worth it. "Best idea ever." Weirdness aside, cause he totally just got finger fucked and jerked himself off, but he's definitely feeling so much more at ease and less jittery. Quinn's practically passed out already, so Puck takes care of cleaning himself up before poking and prodding and pissing Quinn off until she at least shifts so that they can both fit in her bed and under the covers. "You're not going to freak out later, right?"

"No. I don't know. Maybe. Feel free to distract me." And even if he's sort of feeling like he's turning into a girl, she is so totally turning into a dude.

If there are more orgasms like that, it's totally worth it.

#


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **Not mine. No money. No affiliation.

Waking up, half sprawled over his own chest is, to put it plainly, a little strange. It's strange because it's totally the first time he's ever woke up snuggling into someone -even if it is Quinn in his body and no one will ever know, but because it's kind of comfortable too. He doesn't hate it; it is kind of nice, especially since Quinn has an arm under his neck and sort of pulling him in against her too. He could totally just not move, except that he needs to piss like right now and his mouth totally feels gross right then. He needs to get up.

He doesn't feel in the least bit weird about pulling on his own shirt, the one Quinn had been wearing, and padding through to the bathroom to carry out what had now become a morning routine. It's not until Puck's moisturised Quinn's face that Quinn actually makes an appearance and from her attitude, Puck's pretty sure she's not freaking out. Her arm wraps around his waist, pulling his butt back against her and she's only wearing a pair of boxers. "Well someone seems less tense." Quinn smiles into the back of Puck's neck, humming slightly and kissing his throat.

"So maybe that was a pretty good idea." Oh yeah, Puck knows it was a damn good idea, because Quinn is totally chill, and it's kinda dorky seeing that smirk on his face and Puck realises that Santana was serious about him having a 'just got laid' face. "Is there still a spare tooth brush?" There was actually a pack of them, because Puck had felt a little weird about using Quinn's so he'd bought new ones. She sort of leans over him to brush her teeth, and Puck's trying to figure out why she's not just letting him go so that she can have the whole sink, but whatever. It's first thing in the morning and he's not completely awake himself. But Quinn drops the toothbrush into the holder by the sink, wipes her face on the hand towel and then runs her hands up Puck's thighs. Puck can't hold back the smirk as he pushes his hair to the side a little and turns his head to smirk at his own answering smirk.

"You really are in a good mood." Quinn just hums an agreement, leaning in to nuzzle at Puck's throat, hands running up to his stomach and pulling the shirt up with her hands.

"I sort of get why you liked seeing me in your shirts when I stayed at yours." And yeah, he remembers that; his shirts stopped just past the apex of her thighs, her legs looked fucking fantastic with just his shirt covering her and usually the neck fell down off one of her shoulders. Not to mention the baby bump. He told her it wasn't hot, but fucking Christ it was. "Hair still messy, just the shirt, still smelling like sex." Quinn starts to kiss up Puck's throat, his head moving so that she can get better access while she leans forward slightly and Puck can feel the press of morning wood against his ass. "It's totally hot." Quinn drags her hands up to cup his breasts, kneading them in her palms and Puck totally moans and presses back against her, because fuck, now that he's felt the arousal it's like it's always there. Or maybe that's just the dick pressing to his ass that does that.

He's pretty sure that he would've been completely fine with her bending him over the sink and fucking him there and then, but the whole mood is pretty much ruined when his stomach grumbles loudly and she laughs against his neck. "Shut up, I need to eat these stupid tiny little meals, of course I'm hungry." Quinn pulls on the jeans she wore and Puck goes as far to slip on a pair of panties under the shirt but that is it. And because Quinn sucks at cooking, Puck is the one who has to make breakfast (pancakes are just easier without a waffle iron, which the Fabray's don't have).

"So what are your plans for the weekend?"

"Rachel's dragging me and San to see One Day at the movies. San and I totally argued for Fright Night, because hello, there's actually something to that, but Rach is totally set on One Day, I think she's hoping it'll apply to her and Finn or something and they'll get their happy ending despite everything but, like, that's just way crazy." Really, Puck can't help but think Rachel is too good for Finn. The more he gets to know the girl he's totally convinced that Finn is just not going to be enough for her. "Not sure what we're doing after."

Knowing Rachel, she could have a whole day away from Finn planned. "What's going on with them? I feel so out of the loop." So they eat breakfast and Puck fills Quinn in on everything that he can remember Rach and San blabbing on about -San totally has the hots for this chick at the bowling alley who's like way hot but possibly straight, Rach is considering taking yet another dance class and they both want to take a fucking road trip during winter break because neither of them feel up to the family shit at Christmas time. Quinn just nods along and tells him that Mike had a video game night last week and he'll be happy to know that she maintained his reputation and totally kicked all their asses.

Quinn grabs a shower while Puck clears up the living room and then proceeds to the bedroom to find something to wear to go out with the girls -he's gotten remarkably good at figuring out girl clothes and what he should and shouldn't wear together. Quinn comes out of the shower while Puck's considering a shirt or a dress and presses up against his back. "You're wet."

"Isn't that my line?" And yeah, sex totally relaxes Quinn, and if this is what a hand job does, what the hell is full blown fucking going to do. And then he's hit by the fact that he's seriously considering having sex, with himself for all intents and purposes, and that is equal parts kinky and weird. "When are you meeting Rach and San?"

"In an hour, I still need to shower though." He still doesn't move away from her though, not when her hands are running up his thighs and all the calluses from guitar playing are so fucking good against his skin. He really, really needs to get in the shower, and dressed, and meet the girls, but fuck he totally doesn't want to.

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing, nothing at all." Because he will tell Rachel that no, he's not turning it into a girls day, he'll use homework or something as an excuse, anything really, but he is just not turning down a chance to maybe get some.

"Let's go out? Like, dinner or whatever," okay, that's a surprise.

"You seriously want people to see us out together, like having dinner. As if it's a date or something?" He manages to pull away and look at her, because he knows what his serious face looks like and it'll work in his favour if he can figure that much out from her.

"Well, if we're going to do _this_, then, yeah." Oh, Quinn and her belief that sex equals a relationship. Still, it might work better for both of them if they're seen as off the market and realistically, it wouldn't be a bad idea. "Come on, we've been doing better, we can manage a fake relationship. And people won't ask questions if we hang out more, so it'll be good." Puck finds himself nodding before he's thought it all the way through -because he will be the _girl _in this relationship, and that will be weird on its own. Although really, his last -and only- relationship was with Lauren and that was just, well, complicated.

"Yeah, okay. That makes sense." So, now he has to shower and get ready for movie day and then come home and get ready for a date. "You can pick me up at seven." He smirks as he places a kiss on Quinn's cheek on his way out to the shower before he realises that he's wearing her shirt and pulls it over his head. "Here, you'll need this." Tossing it to her before he heads out. He totally hears her calling him shameless.

#

So going to the movies with Santana and Rachel is only a little dull in comparison as to what he got up to with Quinn, and what there was totally promise of continuing to get up to. The movie only sucks from his point of view apparently, because San totally gets into it and he just needs to suck it up and go along with it, because it's totally the sort of crap that Quinn would like too. He only needs to manage through a lunch with them and deal with them talking about the dreaminess of whomever that guy was and then he can freak out about his first date with Quinn in her body.

Not that he's planning on it, but he's expecting it, because this is Quinn's body and she freaks out a fair amount. Apparently, she's a little bit of an emotional headcase even when she's not pregnant; she just hides it really well. Santana leaves first, and Puck has this ridiculous urge to do something girly so he just blurts it out, "I have a date with," he totally almost says Quinn, "Puck. Tonight." Rachel stares at him and he just nods.

"You and, you guys are," the shock is totally warranted, because they do fight a lot and they aren't exactly buddy buddy at school or anything, so it doesn't surprise him that she's a little stunned.

"Yeah, he asked me to dinner. I said yes." Rachel doesn't go home straight away; she comes over to Quinn's and totally helps him do all the date stuff that you're never supposed to know that girls do.

"You have to wear cute underwear, it's the rule Quinn. I know you're not planning on _showing_ him it, but you'll totally feel better wearing it." So he does, although he figures that he could get away with anything to be honest, and he lets Rachel pick the dress and the tights and the shoes and then she does his hair and make-up and thankfully he manages through it all without a freak out. "You sure you want to do this? Just because Puck actually _asks_ you out doesn't mean you have to go."

"I sort of want to, you know?" And he does. He's sort of realised this a little while ago. One of the main reasons he doesn't get along with Quinn would be the fact that she just _won't _give him a fucking chance. And maybe fair enough, back when it all started, but over the last year or so, he's totally grown the fuck up and she's still treated him like he's this Lima loser and he never really figured out why that bugged him so fucking much, but it did. And now, fake or not, they are going on a date. He's pretty sure it's just Quinn's body that's forcing his freak out.

"Okay, I'm going to go, keep your cell on, text me a 911 if it goes horrible and I'll call with an emergency, okay?" He fucking loves this side of Berry.

#

It doesn't go horrible. It actually works pretty well.

They don't go to Breadsticks, they go to Freddie's Famous Fire-house in the mall, it's slightly less frequented than Breadsticks, but it's totally awesome. They manage a whole dinner just shooting the breeze and not once do either of them raise their voice -although he flat out refuses to go and see One Day again with her so that she can see it. He'll show her where to download that shit and leave it be (although he'd totally be better doing that himself on her laptop so it doesn't come back to incriminate him later). And she totally surprises him after dinner when they hit up the arcade for half an hour to play the terrible driving games.

He texts Rachel right afterwards to let her know that saving will not be required and he gets a text back demanding all the details on Monday. The last stop is the Dairy Queen for ice cream before they walk out to the truck to head home and all in all he kinda digs this version of dating. "So, you don't mind going, like, public on Monday? Just, telling people we're dating and stuff?" Puck just shrugs at Quinn's question.

"I kind of already told Rachel." And he gets that it's not always a smart thing, because Rachel feels she's not meant to keep things from Finn, and Puck tried to explain that keeping things quiet and lying are completely different things, but Rachel just didn't want to differentiate from it all. "So, no. I don't really. It means you don't need to flirt with everyone and I don't need to tell footballers that no, I'm not interested in seeing them work out." The fact that he'd had four of his teammates hit on him totally made him question their brains because the lines they used were just tragic. It's a wonder they ever managed to pull.

"So we're dating."

"We are dating." And that is how he hooks up with her. Again.

"So I shouldn't expect you to put out on the first date." She asks it at the front door to the Fabray house, and Puck has to wonder if she's trying to talk herself into it or out of it.

"That depends on if you'll call me in the morning." See, this whole teasing thing is a little new to him; things with Lauren weren't this chill. They were more like bros the whole time, and she was kind of mean. But Quinn is nothing like that, and it's kind of cool.

"I totally would," Quinn leans in, pressing him up against the door and bracing her arm by his head. "But I kind of promised your mom I'd watch Sarah while she went to work." And Puck just rolls his eyes, because she's still a fucking cock tease.

"Then you should get home and enjoy Disney Princess marathon." Unless Quinn is less diligent than he is and Sarah's got into the Twilight crap that Lauren practically lived off. Quinn nods, but doesn't pull back, and this seems to be a habit with them, doesn't it. Puck licks his lips, and Quinn just shakes her head before leaning down.

Puck meets her half way, as Quinn's hand cups his jaw and her lips slant over his and neither of them bother with the chaste, first kiss crap, because it's not. It's still a little odd, giving up the control and letting Quinn take it, but it's so fucking good when her body presses flush to his and he moans into her mouth. Being the smaller one sucks a little though, because he needs to press forward on his tip toes and wrap his arms around her neck just to get close enough. Quinn makes his growling noise when he sucks lightly on his tongue, pushing him up against the door hard and tearing her mouth away to groan against his neck.

"You keep that up and you mom is going to be livid, because I won't make it back." She just makes her point by pushing their hips together and rubbing her erection into his hip. "Boys are so horny."

"You should go then, because I'm fucking horny now." Quinn just presses another kiss to his lips before she pulls herself away, letting Puck slip inside the house and Quinn go to babysit. Puck totally blames Quinn and her stupid girl body for just how giddy he is about this whole development.

#

Sunday is spent on boring stuff that he'd never do if he was himself; like homework and cleaning and some stupid workout routine, because cheerleading is annoyingly more hassle than he thought. It keeps him busy enough that he's just sending random little text messages to Quinn and Rach throughout the day rather than actually paying attention to anything. He figures that since Quinn's mom is coming home soon, he'll get the house nice and clean and stock some ice cream in the freezer since Ms Fabray likes to do a girl chat with Quinn. He hedges off a phone conversation with Mr Fabray by just not answering the phone when the man calls.

He sort of doesn't want to listen to it. Because Mr Fabray is all about saying how _sorry _he is –Puck is a guy who know that the old fuck is only sorry he got caught, and if he has to listen to the man tell Quinn one more time, that she made the right decision in giving up their baby, he might actually punch something.

So, Sunday is quiet. Beyond all these text messages. Rach is scary excited when he tell her that him and Quinn are sort of dating now. It's good though, right, because Rach sort of talks him up, convincing Quinn that she's doing the right thing, and Puck always knew that Rach had this weird belief that he was more than everyone said, and that was cool sometimes, but it's totally awesome that she's going to bat for him with _Quinn _too.

The messages with Quinn are a little less innocent, because apparently, Quinn gets horny a lot and Puck doesn't see this being one of those 'nothing below the waist' things with her. She literally apologises for calling any male ever a 'horn-dog' and not believing that keeping from getting a boner was that hard –pun intended, Puck's pretty sure. He's also pretty sure she understands the value in sexting now, even if she doesn't wanna do it. He gives it four weeks and he's pretty sure, if she's still in his body, he can swing phone sex.

When Monday comes Puck has another flash of panic. The only blessing is that he doesn't need to find an outfit because his Cheerio's uniform is sitting there like some kind of message from God; and besides, nothing is better than a Cheerio's uniform at McKinley. Unless it's a Cheerio's uniform and a letterman jacket. He is absolutely not freaking out as he walks the halls with Rachel chatting away at his shoulder about her night with Finn and how it might've been a little bit of a disaster because Finn is a total goof and Rachel's starting to get a little annoyed with his constant obsession with Call of Duty. Puck's in the middle of telling her that Finn's obsession is because he sucks at it, when Quinn appears and right there, in the middle of the halls, slings an arm over Puck's shoulder. Rachel just looks smug.

"Bold much?" Puck is aware of what this statement will mean, because he'd do it too really. Quinn just smirks at him.

"I'm all about being bold today." And she kisses him before winking at Rach and hightailing it off. But Puck's already seen Jacob Ben Israel and thus the whole school will know by lunch, if not earlier and strangely, Puck's okay with that.

"Santana owes me twenty dollars."

"You made a bet on me and Puck?" He isn't sure what he's more surprised at, Santana and Rachel betting on them, or Rachel winning the bet. She just explains that, after they started the school year, it became more and more apparent that it wasn't 'hate' that made them fight so much. And then they weren't fighting that much because, according to Rachel, there wasn't any other person in the way and they were just taking their time and really, couldn't they see the chemistry they had?

"You have chemistry with Puck." Which is true, but his chemistry with Rachel is more unresolved sexual stuff, because they always get close but never seal the deal and really, he thinks that might be just as well. "He has chemistry with Mercedes too." He doesn't bring up San, because all he has with San now is a list of places they did the deed and no one mentions her and cock anymore.

"What Noah and I have is much more complex than the chemistry you have with him and ours is completely different. For instance, I didn't have a baby with him." Yeah, there is that. "Furthermore, it's not my pigtails he's constantly pulling." Rachel wanders off while Puck stops to think about that. And it's pretty much what Kurt and Mercedes brought up last week and really, Puck needs to actually pay attention to what the hell he's doing if these people are seeing something that he isn't.

Damn, he's late for History.

#

He was right, but lunch time, everyone knows. It might have more to do with Quinn finding him between classes at her locker and sort of moving in for an impromptu make out session that Puck totally was not against, but he's pretty sure Quinn regrets it since Puck definitely felt the erection against his stomach. He'd feel sorry for Quinn if she didn't bring it on herself.

So everyone knows that Quinn and Puck are a thing, and then the debate starts. New power couple and what does Finn think of this and what does Sam think of this and is Santana okay with this and just where is Lauren Zizes in the matter? Puck convinces Quinn that it would be a good show to lock Jew-fro in a locker until fifth period. She does, that's what makes it sort of badass.

He's pretty sure that 'Finchel vs Quick' isn't going to catch on –not just because Finchel is on the rocks, but because Quinn and Rachel are friends and Santana is totally almost with this really hot red-head on the Cheerio's and Puck's pretty sure that it would turn into 'Finchel vs Quick vs Santery' or whatever little name they give San and the Avery girl. Santana glares at him a little when he mention this, but then kind of gets all sex eyes over at Avery and the red-head is totally into it.

"You know," Kurt totally isn't working on their French project, "when we said get him to focus on one person, we didn't actually mean throw yourself on a grenade."

"Are you suggesting that I'm dating Puck to stop him flirting with every girl in the school?" Seriously, are these two never happy? Stage an inquisition, force an epiphany on him and then bitch about the end result? There's just no pleasing some people.

"Hardly, I highly doubt that Noah would stick to one girl just for the sake of not flirting, and it is you. But," Puck sort of wants to punch Kurt right now, but he's totally trying out this whole non-violence thing, at least until _that _time of the month. "As Mercedes and I were saying, he is far more balanced, and it's sort of showing already." It wasn't, not really, because Puck already knew that Quinn had flirted with three people today, even if it was just an attempt to rile him.

"Listen up Kurt, I'm saying this once. What _Noah_ and I decide to do in our free time is not up for discussion in your and Mercedes' little gab sessions. If it is, I don't want to hear about it; because I am likely to take exception to something you say and let you meet the business end of a slushy for old time's sakes." He is aware that it's overkill, but they'll have enough people gossiping about them without the glee club joining in, and Puck sort of hates all that shit when it comes to him and 'relationships' because that sort of idle gossip usually results in rumours and fuck knows how Quinn will take some of those.

"Wait, you two are serious?" Kurt kind of stares at him, like it's not obvious from the way that Quinn used him like a fucking leaning post earlier and shit he didn't realise how annoying that shit was. "Like, not just a 'friends with benefits' type thing?" Puck has no idea why Kurt would ever assume that Quinn would be up for that sort of deal.

"Yes, we're serious, as in awesome dates and making out and not being in my room without the door open and dinner with Mom and play dates with his sister and wearing his number serious." He doesn't really know if they will be doing those things, although he would totally wear the 'Puckerman' number and he fully expects both awesome dates and awesome make outs.

Kurt doesn't ask any more questions after that and they get on with the work that Puck only half understands and half pays attention to. He's still sort of wondering about this thing with Quinn and if it is serious or just whatever. It should just be whatever, right? They can let people think it's serious, but it's really not. Part of the fake relationship aspect. People consider them to be, for the most part, totally into each other and really it's just what? Blowing steam? By now, Quinn's probably got a lot of steam to blow off and that means Puck will likely get sex out of the whole arrangement so really, what does it matter what they are?

These stupid girl parts were messing with his head again.

There's football practice after school, so Puck loiters by the field for a little while after the end of classes until Quinn breaks away to come over. He's pretty sure he figures out why chicks dig the football uniform now, because it's tight in all the right places and he definitely looks good in it. "I'm sort of turned on right now," he tells Quinn as she stands there, helmet in hand. "I am definitely glad I got to see this now."

"Was there something you wanted are you just ogling my butt now?" He just grins and pulls her in for a quick kiss.

"Come over tonight? Your mom's home tomorrow afternoon and I need the excuse for have food in the house. I'll teach you how to make mac and cheese." Its Sarah's favourite and it makes sense for Quinn to know so that _Puck_ can still make it for Sarah when she gets in one of those 'dote on me now' sort of moods.

Quinn nods, and there are comments from over the other side of the football field from the other jocks, even Sam and Finn join in. "I'm gonna grab your ass, just so you know." And Quinn does, Puck doesn't mind so much. She wraps her arm around his waist and pulls him in and the padding is kind of hard against her chest but the way Quinn's kissing him kind of means he's not focusing on that to be honest, and her hand totally slides up under his Cheerio's skirt to the spanky pants and cops a feel.

When he pulls away, Puck's licking his lips, grinning like an idiot and walking backwards away from the football field. Yeah, this whole 'fake dating' thing is totally working in his favour.

#

Teaching Quinn how to cook, even the most basic of things, is not at all in his favour though. He learned ages ago that she can't bake, and when Ms Fabray went away, he learned that she can't even microwave anything without burning something. So, teaching her something as simple as pasta with a cheese sauce was supposed to be, well, easy. It is not.

"Okay, how did you manage this?" The pot that should've had the sauce in it is filled with some paste like gunk, and Puck's pretty sure it could be used to put up wallpaper. "Seriously, this is not flour and milk, what did you do?"

"Everything you said, it didn't work." Puck counts the pot as a total loss and throws it out; apparently, Ms Fabray is used to it anyway. It's sort of impressive, in this really scary, weird way, just how much Quinn sucks at cooking. In the end, Puck just makes it with her watching and figures they'll try again another time. "When does my mom come home?"

"Tomorrow afternoon, she said she'll get a pick up from the airport from one of the other wives' husbands or something, so she'll be home sometime after Cheerio's practice." Which meant one more night in the house by himself, which was sort of the reason he'd invited Quinn over.

"So, I can keep you company?" Quinn is totally on the same page, since he's still in the cheerleading uniform and Quinn's pressed against his back and that is definitely a hard on against his butt. "Cause, I have to say, I'm a little bit turned on right now?" She leans over to whisper it in his ear, and he laughs at the words because it's probably payback for earlier and he doesn't really care.

"I could be convinced, if the company was worth it."

"I think we both know it's worth it." Quinn's grip on his hips turns him around until she's pressing him back against the kitchen counters and leaning in. Puck's pretty sure that kissing her wasn't this awesome before, but it's probably just because he's not actually screwing over his bro this time or something, but whatever. Quinn is definitely not holding back at all, considering her tongue is in his mouth and her hands in his hair before Puck's really caught on to what's happening –Quinn might like control a little too much to be honest.

Puck just lets it go though, letting Quinn push him up to perch on the counters, legs open for her to slide in between them, pulling him by the hip so that they're pressed against each other and Puck breaks off the kiss to groan low at the press of her hips into his because, holy shit, that felt good. Quinn smirks against his throat, kissing and biting, while pushing their hips together in a rocking motion and Puck is pretty sure she's up for this to go all the way this time.

"Fuck, Quinn," it's not his fault that every time she does that his body gets this insane tingle that pretty much hardwires his brain. "Hot as it could be, I really don't think we should try this in the kitchen." Because there is just too much that can go wrong and at the very least, they should be used to the bodies they're in before they try that shit –although he will put it on a list of things to try later.

"Do we need to go out and get stuff? Because right now, I'm not sure I could walk."

"Um, I've sort of already got them." And he totally ignored the looks he got at the drug store when he picked up the condoms, because he was totally being responsible and careful and the look that the pimply little clerk gave him totally made him want to pull out Quinn's bitch face, because _please_, just because she didn't get any action. "Don't even say anything; just get the fuck upstairs right now."

So, it's only just after five, and he's totally locking up and shit for the night, and is getting ready to have sex in Quinn's body with Quinn, who is in his body, and this should be weird as all hell. But it's really, really not by this point, and Puck is mostly just nervous about the whole 'how does it work on this side' of things rather than the whole thing in general.

God, his life is so fucking weird.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **Not mine. No money. No affiliation.

**AN:** Gender swap sex ahead, somewhat smutty. Thank you all who review!

He's not sure when it happened –somewhere between Quinn going up the stairs and him following, but somehow, Quinn got super confident about this whole thing and Puck just sort of went with it. He should totally worry about how comfortable he is with just letting her lead, but it's really working out in his favour now, so he doesn't complain, not really.

He reaches the top of the stairs after locking up and Quinn's already waiting to grab him around the waist and push him up against the wall, bringing their lips together to kiss him breathless and shit if that's not turning him on too. He trails his hands up to the back of her neck, toying with the little wisps of hair at the base of the mohawk while her hands run down his waist, shifting to the back of his ass and then down the back of his thighs. He's really not expecting Quinn to grab him and push him further up the wall until his legs are around her waist.

Puck gasps against her mouth, feeling the press of hardness right against his crotch and rocking into it. "Jesus, fuck." Cursing in Quinn's voice still sounds weird, but that whole being horny and using Quinn's voice totally makes it hotter. "We're in the hall, in the bedroom, c'mon." He really wants to get horizontal, and naked. Not necessarily in the order though. Quinn just wrapped her arms around his waist to pull him in tighter before moving away from the wall. Shit, he'd pulled this before himself, but wrapping his legs tighter around Quinn's hips felt totally different from having the legs wrapped around him and Puck groaned against Quinn's jaw as she walked into the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind her.

When she got them to the bed, Puck didn't waste any time in getting the shirt off Quinn, kicking off his own Cheerio issued sneakers while Quinn went for the zip on the side of the uniform. The butterflies sort of kicked up in his stomach as her fingers brushed his side, the zip giving way to skin and jolts of sensation spreading along his side with the touch of skin on skin. It was a thrill, one that he hadn't been on the receiving end of and was pretty much on board with. He let Quinn pull the Cheerio top off him, pulling her down afterwards to steal another kiss while her hips pressed down between his legs and yeah, that was what he was looking for. The pressure between his legs sparks the roll of heat through his body and he shudders against her. Quinn's lips work their way down his throat, teeth nipping just slightly at his collarbone as her hands run up his ribs now. "Too many clothes." He knows what's coming, where they're going with this, and he's all for the teasing and tormenting, but not when it's him on the receiving end of it all.

The last time showed them that they shouldn't attempt to strip each other, so Quinn pulls back to kneel on the edge of the bed and strip while Puck does the same, slipping off the uniform and tossing it to the floor before shifting to the bedside cabinet where he stashed the condoms earlier. Quinn slides her hand around his waist while he's facing away from her, his back pulled to her chest and the press of a hot, hard, erection to his ass feels so much different than just the press of her in her jeans. His breath stutters as he leans back, her hand slipping down between his thighs and fingers teasing just lightly around the edge of his pussy. "You're so fucking wet." The voice is just as effective as before and Puck leans back against Quinn's chest, moaning just a little as she teases, fingers slipping inside him, stroking, stretching, curving up and pressing just right. Puck almost doubles over as the pleasure just slams into him, his muscles clenching and shuddering and Quinn just holds him with an arm around his chest and fingers teasing at his breasts.

"Quinn, fuck," he pushes forward, rocking against her fingers, muscles tightening again and his legs shaking as she pulls him back, lips moving to his throat and upwards to his jaw. She knows exactly what she's doing and Puck is caught a little off guard at the intensity of the sensations.

"So hot," her breath is cool over his skin and he twists his head to lick at her lips while rolling his hips against her hand. He's pretty sure she's trying to kill him or something. "I want to see you come, Puck, I want to see you before I fuck you, do it, let go, c'mon Puck." He's really going to have to find out where the hell she's getting all this, because it's hot as fuck and he's pretty sure he can't actually take much more. Quinn's fingers curve up again, pressing harder and deeper and her thumb flicks over his clit and Puck bites on his lip before shuddering back against her with a gasp.

He had not expected that, really. Quinn was still Quinn in his mind and sex was still sex and really, Quinn and sex only really slotted together in this almost innocent sort of way where he'd figured he'd be leading her through it even with their bodies reversed. But apparently, she's full of surprises, because she's still stroking her fingers inside him, sort of chasing those aftershocks and the clenching muscles. "Q," he really can't believe that he's the one shaking in her arms, but hell, he's blaming the body and the nerve tingling orgasm, okay.

She pulls away, slowly and carefully, but she raises her hand to his mouth and Puck doesn't really stop to think before he licks her fingers –she hadn't let him go down on her the first time, when they'd had sex, through the whole pregnancy thing she'd let him get her off when she was really horny, but only ever with his hand and that was the only time he'd ever gotten to do this. It's the same, funnily enough, although apparently it's way sexier when it's not your own fingers. "Oh, God," Quinn's hips rock forward into him as he sucks her fingers into his mouth just to taste her, or him now really, still kinda weird. He's just hollowed out his cheeks with a suck when she hisses and pulls away, hands both going to his hips and turning him around. "Shit, I didn't think I could get more turned on." He's pushed down into the bed, his head hitting the pillow just as Quinn follows him, tongue in his mouth in seconds while she pulls his legs apart and hooks his knee over her hip. Puck isn't really used to being this submissive to the control, usually he's the one doing the seducing and all the work involved on that side, but this is totally driving him crazy.

Quinn's lips move from his lips to his throat, even as their hips press together and there are little sparks between his legs every time Quinn shifts to press against him, nerves still startlingly sensitive. He tips his head up as Quinn sucks a hickey into his throat, fingers gripping at the back of her head. He doesn't notice when she grabs the condom that he'd dropped on the comforter, not until she pulls back slightly to open it and slip it on. Puck feels his heart hammer into his chest, because it's just a little weird again, even as Quinn leans up again to kiss his lips before their foreheads rest together. They share a breath for a moment, Quinn running her hand down the side of his thigh to his knee, pulling it up slightly while he pushed his hips up in an attempt to help. The first press of cock head to him makes him pull in a breath as Quinn presses forward and slides in slowly.

His hand tightens on her shoulder as his muscles clench slightly against the intrusion before he makes himself relax into it –it's just sex, he knows it feels good. But it's not like Quinn's body is used to this, so he's not really surprised that it takes a little bit to get used to it. She kisses him lightly, hips inching forward slowly like he'd done the one time before and Puck realises that she's just following what he did. "Fuck," her eyes were shut, bottom lip bitten between her teeth and Puck slid his hand over her ribs to rest on Quinn's hips before pulling down and pushing his hips up until Quinn was pressed fully inside him. "God, so tight. Jesus, Puck." Quinn didn't need much more urging onwards, her hand holding to his hip as she pulled back slightly before pressing in, building a pace and rhythm while their foreheads stayed pressed against one another.

Puck shifted his legs up, drawing his knees up to her hips, opening himself better to her angle and pressing up with each thrust, gasping against Quinn's mouth at the strange sensations. The angle altered and Puck shuddered, figuring that they'd gotten it down, Quinn's thrusts picking up speed as she fell into it better, her whole body moving with each press and Puck was just floating on the sensations; the tingling, the coiling in his gut, that steady build of heat, it was fucking amazing.

"You are so fucking tight, and hot, and shit, it feels so good." Quinn drops her head to Puck's throat to bite lightly, her rhythm faltering just slightly, and then there's just this onslaught of pleasure all over. One of Quinn's hands slides over Puck's chest, thumb dragging over Puck's nipple lightly, flicking the nub while her mouth dips to the other, teeth grazing just slightly. But its Quinn's other hand that causes the pure bursts of nerve searing pleasure. She uses her hand to spread his leg out to the side, pushing it into the mattress and practically pushing him into the splits on the bed while her thumb finds his clit and starts to press circles against the nerves. The suddenness of it all makes it hard to breathe, his hips bucking upwards and nails digging into Quinn's shoulder and side as he presses up into her. "C'mon, fuck, it's so good."

And it is, even more so when Quinn bites right over his heart and presses her thumb up and it's like something snaps. That steady heat of pleasure in his gut just spills out and his body tightens, muscles clenching up sporadically as his back arches and a cry rips from his throat. Quinn loses any semblance of rhythm and Puck isn't even keeping track as he clenches tighter and runs his hand up the back of her head to tug at the mohawk lightly. Quinn grunts his name against his throat as she stiffens, spilling into the condom and almost collapsing forward onto Puck.

They stay exactly where they are for a while, Puck's hand stroking through Quinn's mohawk while she nuzzles and kisses at his throat. But eventually, Quinn has to pull away and Puck moans a little at the loss of that feeling. It's so fucking weird now; not awkward weird, but messed up weird. Because he just had sex with what is, in all technicalities, himself, and it was fucking awesome. Quinn disappears –probably to take care of the condom issue, and Puck curls onto his side on the bed to process everything. He doesn't hear Quinn come back until she's sliding up against his back and wrapping her arms around him. "Regrets?"

"No," he answers instantly, because he doesn't regret a thing, he never really regrets sex. "Just thinking." Not that he does that very often or anything, least of all about sex. "Kinda weird, isn't it." Quinn is pressing kisses to his neck though, so evidently she doesn't think it's a bad kind of weird either.

"No weirder than you being me and me being you." And she has a point, really. Puck wasn't exactly sure what he expected –maybe not enjoying it as much? Maybe not having it feel as natural? He's not really sure, but he knows, without a doubt, that they'll be doing it again. Because Quinn is a horny teenage boy and Puck is Puck and even in Quinn's body, he's not turning this shit down. "Your mom is working a double, Sarah's staying over at Maddie's."

Puck shifts until they can roll under the bed covers, pulling Quinn's arm around his waist again and leaning back into her chest –he'll forever blame her stupid hormones for just how much he rather enjoys this whole spooning shit. "Stay then." Because he doesn't exactly want her to go –they've been getting on amazingly well now that they've gotten this whole tension thing sorted, and he doesn't actually want to be alone. "That was a twelve pack of condoms."

Quinn hums against the back of his neck and pulls him closer.

#

There is definitely something about waking up with Quinn that Puck thinks he could get used to. He's not exactly sure what it is, but it feels ridiculously comfortable, even with the alarm bleeping at him. Stretching to flick it off, Quinn makes a noise behind him before pulling her arm tighter around his waist and nuzzling into the back of his neck. It's enough to make him laugh.

He can remember the few times they'd slept together, like honestly sleeping, when she was all hormonal and pregnant. She _always _snuggled into his chest, even when she was thoroughly pissed off at him. One of Quinn's hands rested just on Puck's pelvis, fingers spread over the warm skin. It wasn't like Puck really needed the motivation or anything, but he really wanted to blow off school and just stay in bed. Especially when Quinn's morning wood shifted against Puck's ass. And he was pretty sure Quinn knew that, the way her hips shifted up as she pulled Puck back.

"Morning." Quinn ran soft kisses along Puck's shoulder, hand sliding up his stomach in a caress as she shifted her hips again.

"Feels like a good one too." The urge to just stay there in bed, to ignore everyone and anything and just stay in bed all day, it was amazingly strong. Probably because Quinn showed no signs of wanting to move either. "We're supposed to be going to school today." He totally didn't care one bit about his attendance, but he had this insane determination to make sure Quinn passed her classes –because she would know that it was him all along and that he was the one doing the studying and the work and putting in the effort. Shit, having a vagina was turning him into a total pussy.

"Sure, but first," he felt Quinn shift slightly behind him, not exactly sure what she was up to until one of her hands ran over his thigh, lifting his leg as she pressed forward.

"Jesus, Quinn," Puck's back arched as she pressed inside, "did you,"

"Condom, yeah. Oh, God, yeah." Quinn's arm wraps around his chest, pulling him back against hers, other hand holding to Puck's leg while she sets a steady rhythm. It's different from the night before, unhurried and just a little bit tighter thanks to the position, but it's so, so good and Puck's near the edge fairly quickly thanks to Quinn's angle and the teasing flick of her thumb over the peaked nipple of his breast.

Puck comes, clinging to Quinn's arm, head tilted in to press against her throat and muscles clenching rapidly. There's a muffled groan and Quinn follows, arm tightening around Puck's chest as they both caught their breath. "So, that should be the wake up for every morning, ever." It really doesn't make him want to get out of bed any sooner though, at least not until Quinn moves, tossing the condom and Puck realises that he's going to need to change the sheet and take out the trash before Quinn's mom comes home.

He hates her a little right there.

#

They don't even pretend like they haven't spent the night together. Quinn drives them in from the house, Puck knows that he has a hickey –and Quinn totally got his hickey making skills too. It doesn't feel like any big deal though, in fact it feels far too domesticated and stable; because Puck made breakfast and Quinn washed the sheets and then they drove in together and frankly, walking down the hall, with Quinn's arm over his shoulder and his hand raised up to twine their fingers, it's just a little bit 'real' and less 'fake relationship'.

The line is starting to blur for him, he's not even sure how it started, or if there even was a line. Everyone seemed to point out just how into Quinn he was, just how different she was from the others, but it wasn't like he'd actually had time to work it all out before they'd gotten to the horizontal part of their relationship (which he liked, a lot, just so you know).

"Well, aren't we cosy." Rachel just smiles at them, and Quinn automatically draws her arm back and Puck drops his fingers, because he's told Quinn about Rachel's concerns over Finn, and they don't need to act all 'honeymoon' in front of her. "I take it you've worked out your differences?" Rachel beams at Puck, then looking to Quinn to give her the thumbs up and Puck actually laughs.

"Come on Rach, let's get to class. Lunch?" Quinn nods at his question, giving him a quick kiss and answering Rachel's hand for a high five with a laugh. "Seriously? You don't need to encourage him." It's gotten strangely easy to figure out pronouns, he's just a little worried about talking about himself in third person when he finally gets his own body back.

"Now Quinn, I understand that we are friends, best friends, but Noah is very dear to me too. I'm very glad you're both giving the animosity a rest to explore your shared chemistry and attempt to build a more solid relationship." Rachel still uses far too many words for Puck's liking.

"Yes, Rachel, Puck and I are looking to tone down the arguments and hopefully build a more stable relationship, but, well, we're not going to be all, well, coupley. Okay?" For one thing, Puck's not sure just how well they'd be able to work the whole couple thing with their role reversals, and secondly, neither of them were planning on rubbing any salt in the wound if Rachel wasn't happy with Finn.

"Oh, do you think he'll sing to you in glee? Oh, I hope he does. Jamie and Louise need to see just how Noah's bad-boy presence works on stage, and well, the smouldering looks across the choir room. It's very busty-novel worthy." Puck really hopes that Quinn doesn't sing for him in glee; not because it wouldn't be kind of awesome, but because he's not that girlish that he needs to be serenaded in front of their peers. Except it's totally his thing, isn't it? And shit, Quinn's going to need to sing to him if Rachel has anything to do with it.

And Quinn's good and all; she's really gotten his guitar playing down, she's worked out the best songs and the types the work. She's pretty much following pattern. Which is a bad thing. Because Puck is pretty sure that Louise, one of their new recruits and a Sophomore, has a crush on Quinn-as-Puck. Which is really weird, because it's partially Quinn's personality and all his body and just, _seriously_.

"What're we talking about?" Santana appears at Puck's other side, arm lacing through his and a grin on her face.

"We were talking about Puckerman serenading me, now I think we should talk about you and your smug sex face." Because San is totally wearing her 'just got laid face' which Puck _knows _he was responsible for it a lot. "Is this Avery? Are we official? Is there a Cheerio's coup in the mix?"

"Shut up." Puck would've never believed that it was possible for Santana to blush, but he's seen himself blush recently, so apparently, you don't grow out of that. "Yeah, we're official, but shut your mouth, okay? We're not like, walking down the halls holding hands official like you and Puckerman."

"All my little birds are flying the nest to make their way in the world." Rachel and her flair.

"Okay, you, Diva, need to get some romance back in your life. Either get Finn to snap it together, or dump his ass. You hear me? I'm out girls, catch you at practice Q, see you at the mall, Diva." Santana does her usual kiss and wave walking off with her ass swinging in that Cheerio's skirt and Puck and Rachel just shake their heads as she walks off.

"She has a point."

"About Finn?"

"Yeah, what's the point in being together, if it's not working? You both know you're going to break up, so why not just break up and enjoy yourself?" Puck didn't understand it before summer, he doesn't understand it now. And Finn is like, totally being a douche, even Puck can see it. He stares at one of the girls in glee -'Elizabeth, but call me Liza'- and hardly even listens to Rachel anymore. "You are worth better."

"I know, it's just," Puck shakes his head as Rach starts to go into this long spiel about how she wants them to try and work through things, so that they have a good solid ground for when she leaves at the end of the school year to pursue her dream in New York.

"Rach, don't take this the wrong way," they're standing outside of Rachel's dance studio for her ballet class, and Quinn's supposed to be just down the hall in Home Ec, so they can afford a moment to have a serious conversation (which Puck still doesn't love, but he's getting better at it). "But you and Finn just don't mesh. Okay? He's Lima, you're New York, he's football and pizza, you're Broadway and vegan cookies. Wouldn't it be better to head off to New York without a fresh heartache?" Girl talk is pretty easy, you throw in feelings, never mention ice cream or thighs and always go for the rom-com chick flick moment.

"You're right," Rachel looks at her feet, probably not happy that Puck –or Quinn in this case- has a point, but she's starting to accept it. "I'll talk to him, I promise. I just, I'm just a little scared. Of, you know, turning into _that _Rachel again."

"You know," Puck puts his arm around Rachel's shoulders, totally easier in Quinn's body because he doesn't drown Rachel's form with his, "that Rachel wasn't so bad. She was annoying and everything, yes. But she was driven, and focused, and knew how to get glee club to win Nationals. Besides, you have me and San now, and Kurt and Noah, that Rachel is a thing of the past."

He's officially used up his chick flick moments by first period, but Rachel at least goes to class with a smile on her face, and Puck gets to make angel cake in Home Ec, (the teacher totally thinks he cheated, because Quinn usually burns shit, but whatever, his is the best) so it's worth it. Maybe a little more so when he gets to lunch and Quinn already has food for him and a seat at the glee table. "Okay, who are you and what've you done with my boyfriend?" It's an easy tease, especially since Mercedes and Kurt laugh while Rachel looks on proudly and Puck wonders if Rachel actually went to Quinn with 'tips' or something. It's the sort of thing she might do.

Even with Louise and Jamie and Liza and Robert –their four pieces of fresh meat- sitting and watching in fascination and awe, Puck completely doesn't care that Quinn is making him look like a whipped dog.

#

"So, Rachel asked me what song I was going to sing for you in glee." Quinn presses against his back, hands on Puck's hips and lips brushing his neck, just at the line of his Cheerio's top. "She seemed to take it as a given that I was going to sing for you."

"It's Rachel, being Rachel. Come on, you _know_ her." They all knew her by now, and Puck should've guessed that Rach would talk to 'Puck' about it. "You don't have to, okay. It's just something we'll brush off, because technically, I already sang to you."

"No, you sang _for_ me, to Beth." And that stops both of them right there, because they _never _mention her. Ever. "Sorry."

"S'okay." Quinn's arms wrap around him fully, hugging him back into her chest and he wonders if he's always been the girl in their relationship, because just one mention of their daughter and he's a total chick. "Seriously, just drop the singing thing. It's not a big deal."

Quinn whispers an 'okay' against his hair, pressing a kiss to his temple and pulling back slightly. "I'll meet up with you after your practice, okay? Drive you home."

"Do you think, I mean, do you think you should like, God, this is complicated." Puck looks around to see if anyone is watching them or listening in. "Should I introduce you to your mom? You know, as like 'this is my boyfriend' stuff? Or would she freak out about us hooking up again?" He really doesn't know if it's a good idea, or if it's a worse idea to sneak around about the whole thing and stuff. But Puck's totally gotten used to having Quinn around and with Judy coming home that time might diminish somewhat, unless they can explain it.

"I don't think so, I mean, you said she was cool with us hanging out, right?" Puck nodded, because Judy had been okay about 'Puck' being around and Quinn being friends with him, so maybe she wouldn't mind too much. "We should, it'll be better than sneaking around. So, yeah. Yeah let's do it."

"Okay, you can come in and wait with me after practice, since she'll be home sometime before dinner. I can cook and say it was you. That'll earn you points." Seriously, the pronoun game was totally going out the window and Puck was just going to lose his damn mind.

"It's a date." Quinn gave him another quick kiss (he was totally over these pecks, but it was sort of nice getting caught off guard all the time) before heading off for whatever class Quinn was pretending to pay attention in while Puck pulled himself together for another Advanced French class.

#

Puck makes it half way through French before Kurt starts staring. It's a little unnerving, because Kurt didn't stare at lunch and there was nothing different (he made a point not to change how Quinn's make up looked or anything because he was not trying that shit out) so there was nothing to _stare _at. It was hard to ignore, try as he might, because every now and then, Kurt would frown, look down at his notebook and then look up again, still frowning.

"Okay, what?" It got too much mid-way through and Puck just hissed out the question with a glare.

"Nothing, it's nothing." Kurt blushed at being caught, suddenly becoming engrossed in his notebook, but Puck was not letting it go that easily.

"No, you've been staring all class, what is wrong? I don't have anything in my teeth, I checked, there is nothing wrong with my hair, you'd just have said it, so what?"

"You, well," Kurt looks sheepish, glancing between _Quinn_ and his notebook again. "You look, you've got, there's just this _glow_ about you." Okay, could Kurt be any gayer? "You just look so, happy."

Puck hasn't been smiling, he's actually glared at four Cheerio's today because they mentioned his thighs looking a little under toned and um, no they weren't okay. He was currently in Quinn Fabray's body, and trust him when he said her body was _fine_. Puck knew shit like that. He'd had to deal with Jew-fro being all in his face with that microphone again and then Louise actually asked him if a week after the 'Quick' break up was too early to try and console 'Noah'. Number one, Louise did not get to call him 'Noah' and number two, it was a bit early to be considering the 'Quick' break up.

There had been a lot of 'not great' mixed in with the 'pretty good' of the day. But between awesome morning sex, the chat with Rachel and lunch, Puck was losing his mind with the chicks in this school. Hummel didn't help.

"I'm sorry, I _glow_?"

"Is Puckerman _that _good?" Yes, he was, but that wasn't the point.

"Kurt, can we not have this conversation? I have Cheerio's after this, and then Puck is meeting my mom and I really don't need to discuss whether or not Puck and I are, y'know." Quinn Fabray doesn't throw the sex word around (Puck has over thirty words f or 'sex' in his vocabulary) so he knows better than to just tell Kurt that yes, the sex is awesome, now could he please stop staring?

"Wow, is that a good idea?"

"We're going to find out. But it's not like we're going to be sneaking around. He can't exactly scale my house to climb in through my window like something out of Rachel's romance novels." Puck knows this, because he has seen the side of Quinn's house and the way to her bedroom and it is never going to happen unless he gets bitten by a radioactive spider or grows wings.

"Introducing the boy who knocked you up, out of wedlock and not even being in a stable relationship with said boy, to your mother, who happens to be Christian and was there when the baby was born." What is with the blasé way that people can just throw Beth around? It is totally not kosher. "Good luck with that Fabray, you'll be needing it."

He's starting to freak out about this whole thing again. Damn Quinn's stupid hormonal body.

#

It usually takes a whole lot to get Puck to freak out. Since he's been in Quinn's body, for a whole month, he's had more freak outs and near hyperventilation fits than he's had in his whole life in his own body. The fact that just thinking about it almost spurns another freak out just doubles how annoying this is.

"You've already cleaned that."

"Quinn, you are not being helpful here. In case you haven't noticed, your body hates me." He can't stand the way her brain goes into overdrive and he's picturing all these horrible scenarios and how he's considering what could go wrong as the most likely turn of events (it includes a body, a shovel and then a convent) and things just don't penetrate this foggy haze of sheer panic. Kurt didn't help any with his foreboding and whatever. Seriously, doom and gloom, what the fuck.

"Okay, listen." Quinn takes him by the shoulders and sits him down on the sofa, kneeling down between his knees. "You've cleaned the kitchen, we've got chicken on the stove and the house is spotless. Things are going to be fine."

"Then why is your body making me panic?" Quinn just smirks that smirk, his smirk, and shakes her head. "I hate that you get to be all calm and level headed and I'm the one being a total headcase. I hate girl hormones, they suck."

"No you don't," Quinn's voice drops to a husk, her head tipping to brush their noses together and let her breath trail over his lips, "You really like the girl hormones, they give you multiple orgasms." That is so not the point, but right then, his brain totally shut off to anything that isn't Quinn's hand running over his thigh and her lips like right beside his, and that, lo and behold, is when the door opens and Ms Fabray comes in.

"Oh, I'm interrupting something, aren't I?" Judy stands that the door, while Quinn's pulls herself to her feel and Puck practically leaps from the sofa, smoothing her Cheerio's shirt down quickly, even though he can still feel the tingle from Quinn's hand.

"Hey, mom. You remember Noah, right?" Yeah, this is getting off to a great start. "How was your trip?"

#


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **Not mine. No money. No affiliation.

**AN:** Gender swap sex ahead. Thank you all who review, and those worried about Finchel -don't be. :)

Judy is definitely a little uncomfortable standing at the door, her suitcase just to her side and Puck and Quinn standing in the family room, just a little guilty looking. Quinn jumps on the ball by stretching over to offer a hand shake, smiling tightly and a 'Ms Fabray' greeting with a nod before picking up Judy's suitcase to place it further inside the house.

"Quinn, what's that smell?" Quinn rolls her eyes behind Judy and Puck knows that Ms Fabray has had to ask that question a million times before, mostly because Quinn's managed to burn toast to within an inch of incineration again.

"Noah made dinner." He's probably laying it on a little thick, but he did just have Quinn's hand under his skirt, so it's likely that buttering up Ms Fabray might be necessary. "We figured maybe you'd want a home cooked meal?" The beauty of it is, Puck's already gotten everything organised so that Quinn just needs to plate things up. She can at least work the presentation aspect of the food serving.

So they end up in the kitchen, sitting around the island counter, Judy talking at length about the retreat she went on and why the other women didn't have it nearly as good as she did, and Quinn gets this pinched look when Judy mentions the tanning boy.

"Mom, could you not talk about that?" Puck knows that Judy has been dating. Puck has told Quinn that Judy has been dating. Quinn didn't take it too badly and since her dad has a mistress, a whore and a girlfriend, well, Ms Fabray shouldn't be denied a little hanky panky in Puck's opinion. But Quinn, she just doesn't want to know.

"Okay, how about we talk about you two?" Okay, that was really just falling on the sword that time. "Have you been 'hanging out' long?" Judy does the air quotes around the hanging out and there's a blush starting to show on Quinn's cheeks and Puck has to jump in before Quinn actually embarrasses him.

"Noah's trying to teach me how to cook. It's a work in progress. But um," it would be really helpful if Quinn could just jump in with assistance at any time. It's not like he's ever had to sit his mother down to introduce her to any of his girlfriends (the only time that happened was when his Ma met Quinn and she was pregnant and homeless and that was a whole other ball game) so it's not like he knows what the hell he's doing. "We're dating." Probably best to just get it out there, like ripping off a band aid.

"And how long has that been going on?"

"Um, since Saturday?" That was their date, right? So that's when they started dating. "We went out for dinner, and played some games and had some ice cream. Then Noah went home to babysit his sister." It feels important to point out that after their date Noah _went home_. Judy looks between Puck and Quinn, her eyebrow raised in a manner that Puck's seen numerous times on Quinn's face –he's even managed to pull it off himself a few times.

"Well, I'm glad you're being honest with me, and I hope that you both understand my position when I ask that you are both _careful_." The way she says it, Puck knows exactly what she's talking about, and maybe there's no point in denying anything or something, but Puck just finds himself nodding while Quinn does the same. "Dinner was lovely, Noah, thank you very much, but I'm a little tired from the flight." Ms Fabray gives Puck a kiss on the cheek as she heads upstairs, promising that they'll talk about her trip later and Quinn gives her a small wave.

"Did that go well? I feel like it went well. I can't tell for sure though." Quinn laughs slightly as she starts clearing up, putting the dishes in the dishwasher and the pots in the sink and Puck just watches. "You know she totally boned the tanning boy, right?"

"Puck, don't even go there." He just laughs, because it's such a reversal from who they are –she's him, and he's supposed to be vulgar and rude and make all the innuendoes, while he's her, and she's uptight and controlled and just a little frigid. Except she's totally not when she's in his body. She sort of demonstrated that for him, didn't she. He's still trying to work out where the second nature actions came from, how she just sort of embraced it all –she'd been a blushing virgin their first time, and he knew that Finn never got past first base, nor did Sam, so he's just a little curious as to where _this _Quinn came from or if it was just because she was in his body that she managed to just let it go.

He's still wondering, after she's cleared up the kitchen, and he's just sitting there, thinking these things through when Quinn presses against his back, her hands on his hips as she places kisses against his neck. Serious thought goes straight out the window as her hands run up her sides, slipping under the Cheerio top. This, this is another thing. Quinn is just so fine with getting closer than close, she's the one that starts the heavy petting, the groping and the kissing in inappropriate places that leads to orgasms, and he's just going along with it. It's like they just slot into these roles based on the gender of their bodies (although he's got to admit she's always been a little bit take charge with everything outside of the bedroom, so realistically, once she got the hang of it, it made sense) but he's not sure _why_.

"Quinn," he's pretty sure he should stop her, but she's leaving a hickey on his collarbone and it's sending all kinds of mixed messages around his body, especially when one of her hands comes away from his ribs to run down her stomach. It's the calluses, he's sure of it, the rough edges of them on her fingers as she skims her hand along his thigh, slipping under the cheerleading skirt to tease at the line of his spanks. "This is definitely not the place for that," even as he says it, his hips push up to try and chase the feeling, to get more pressure, "what if your mom comes down?"

"You should be quiet then." Her fingers slip beneath his spanks, flirting around the slit of his pussy before plunging in and Puck's back arches against her chest, her arm tightening around her waist while her fingers worked him over. "I've been hard since before she came home, with your little freak out, and how fucking cute you were." Her breath ghosts against his ear, lips catching on his earlobe as she gasps and bucks against her fingers. "Could hardly move through dinner, just wanted to fuck you on the damn table." Puck whines slightly, as Quinn presses her thumb against his clit and starts to rub teasing circles into the nub. His hands move from the table in front of him to Quinn's arm, clinging to the forearm around his waist as his hips shift up until he's practically lifting off the stool and fucking himself on her hand.

Puck's head tips back to lean on Quinn's shoulder, biting his bottom lip to try and keep from making too much noise. It's impossible to stop it now, with Quinn so determined to get him off and his body (her body) so worked up that he can't even think straight; he's just holding on and riding it out. Quite literally. Quinn turns her head, pressing her mouth to his ear, "Do you have any idea how fucking hard you get me?" And he does, yes, because not too long ago it was him popping the boners and frankly, he's not sure if he likes this form of arousal more or less and it's going to cause some kind of existential crisis or something. "Fuck it."

Lost to the lust induced haze, Puck's legs barely support him as he's pulled off the stool and Quinn makes quick work in ridding him of his spanks and panties and leaning him over the counter. He thinks he hears a condom wrapper tearing but it could be the seam of his skirt in Quinn's hand too, as she presses him over the kitchen island and presses into him with a long, deep thrust and Puck's that close to just losing it there.

"Quinn, Jesus," he can't believe that she's gone from the poster child of celibacy to fucking him three days in a row; there's something to be said for seeing things from a new perspective. Considering how worked up they both are, Puck isn't surprised that he shudders apart fairly quickly and that Quinn follows a few minutes later, holding tight to his hips and breathing hard against his neck, right there in the kitchen. Where Judy could walk back in any second. "You, Ms Fabray, are out of control."

"Yeah," she doesn't even argue, and tame as kitchen sex is in a lot of senses, he's sort of worried about this potential exhibitionistic thing. "But you love it." There's a smile on her face (his face, oh whatever) as she presses lazy kisses against his neck, hand shifting to stroke over his ass.

"I definitely need to clean this place." If Quinn got her way, he might be cleaning a hell of a lot now.

"I should go."

"Yeah," and Puck wasn't about to ask her to stay, as much as he liked sleeping with her, he wasn't that much of a chick yet, "you'll need to get your cock out of me and pull your pants up first." Weirdest sentence he has ever uttered, no lie.

Quinn just laughs at him.

#

After cleaning up, both the kitchen and himself in the shower, Puck has to throw the Cheerio uniform in the wash and ends up just standing in the kitchen doorway thinking way too much.

Because he's stopped sort of _wanting_ his own body back. Yeah, he doesn't want to stay Quinn forever, but it's not like he's desperate for them to switch back like he had been. It's weird how easy some things are and how he doesn't hate living her life. He seriously wishes she wasn't such a freak with her class schedule, but beyond that it's pretty easy to roll with things.

He doesn't hate hanging out with San and Rach; San is like a totally different person but still kind of the same and it makes it easier to just meld with that, and Rachel is completely chill unless it's something to do with glee or Broadway or New York. And Cheerio's doesn't suck, because sure, it's instant popularity, but he's actually pretty good at it and it's totally an awesome way to stay in shape and keep his wits up because Sylvester is totally still antagonising and he refuses to back down. Sure, he misses the guys a little, but it wasn't like he was super close to any of them, not really, not since him and Finn had their fall out of Sophomore year over the Quinn and Beth thing and realistically, he doesn't miss that as much anymore either.

He kind of wonders if Quinn feels the same; he knows she's down with the sex from his side of things, but what about football and the dude stuff and his friends and missing hers. He's pretty sure she misses hanging out with Rach and San because she asks about them a lot, but that's all she really asks about now.

In a weird way, it's like they're getting used to it and just accepting it. He's not sure if he wants to accept it, because that would mean accepting that he is officially Quinn Fabray and no longer Noah Puckerman and he's not yet sure how he actually feels or if his orgasm is still controlling his brain.

It's too much to think about post-sex, so really he just needs to shut his brain (her brain, yeah, that's going to have to stop) the hell up and deal with this. Whatever _this_ really is.

It is not an existential crisis. It's just not. It's probably just a mild panic. He's getting used to those too.

#

Waking up to Judy pottering around in the kitchen was a little unusual, Puck had just gotten used to being on his own that week and hadn't really thought how different it would be when Quinn's mom returned. He still took his time with getting ready, without Cheerio's practice that day he'd just go with the 'normal' clothes for the day which meant figuring out what to put with what and matching shoes. He even went as far as to actually try out the curling thing with his hair this time.

"Morning sweetie," Judy has scrambled eggs all set out for breakfast and Puck literally hates scrambled eggs, seriously how does Quinn eat this mess? It's not even like Ms Fabray is a bad cook or anything, Puck just _hates_ scrambled eggs. Judy doesn't take much probing before she starts going on about her trip again, enough that Puck can distract her from the fact that he's not eating the eggs and he doesn't really mind when she mentions the tanning boy again, because good for her.

Judy Fabray is a really attractive woman, he can see that its where Quinn gets her looks from. And if he was still himself and she wasn't Quinn's mom, he so would've done her. And if she's finally realising that she doesn't need to stop living her life because her husband was a massive jackass, well that's pretty great and Puck will sit and listen to her happily. Especially since tanning boy is the first time she's had sex in ages and she's practically floating from it. Puck makes the conscious decision to get Judy out of the house on some dates, because this is just tragic and the woman needs a good sex life before she turns into one of those bitter old maids.

He's out the door after a blessedly tension free breakfast and heading to school while listening to some of Quinn's music that might be starting to grow on him (he doesn't get the point of Willow Smith's song, but it's annoyingly catchy but he absolutely does not sing along, he doesn't) which means he's upbeat when he gets to Rachel's locker.

"Good morning," however upbeat he might be, Rach is always this weirdly happy sort of way first thing in the morning, "did your mom get in okay? How was her trip?"

"She had sex with the tanning boy after he gave her a rub down," Rachel tried to hide her laugh but he so totally saw it. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was the highlight of her week."

"It's funny, because you have a pool boy and she has a tanning boy." That only gets her a mild glare, because it's mostly true.

"Yeah, we told Mom we were dating last night."

"Oh my- how did it go?"

"Okay, I guess. She just wants us to be careful." He knows there's a blush on his face, his cheeks have this annoying habit of heating up when that happens. Quinn's body just does these things, it just reacts without any real reason –because he's not embarrassed, he's not. But the body seems to react as if he is. It's totally the same with the panic, this stupid body and these stupid hormones just make him freak out like a big ol' girl. It sucks.

"Are you and Noah, y'know?" From what Puck's learnt, chicks share just about everything. He sort of hates that about them. But he's not exactly sure how Quinn would feel about Rachel knowing about the sex they've been having since they've only been dating for four days. But then, Puck dated Rachel for seven days and got nowhere, but made out with her before Sectionals and managed to get to second base.

"I don't know, maybe. I mean, we have _chemistry_." Puck's pretty sure it's the reason Quinn slept with him in the first place. Because they had that spark while her and Finn were as hot as a wet paper towel. "And, well, it isn't really hatred that makes us argue all the time." Quinn didn't hate him; Quinn was attracted to him and tried to play it off as hate. The fact that they got to each other so much only proved that point. Either that or they were both rather narcissistic.

"But you will be careful, and don't let Noah pressure you. I mean I'm sure he won't, he's grown up a lot, but really Quinn, at your own pace." Yeah, he sort of gets why people think he'd be an ass about sex, but they'd totally be surprised to find out that Quinn is the one fucking him over kitchen tables, wouldn't they.

Not that he can really explain that very well.

#

Puck figures out that Quinn is planning something half way through glee, because there's this shifty look going on there and he knows that look because it's _his_ look and she is so not as subtle as she thinks she is with his face. Louise is half way through some Avril Lavinge song that Puck isn't listening to, because he's busy tossing looks at a smirking Quinn; he spotted the guitar –not his guitar, but that's mostly because Quinn doesn't always bring it to school, but it's just sitting there all innocent and stuff and Puck knows that it shouldn't be. Additionally, Rachel's been all smug and shit most of the day and even _Santana_ made a comment about looking forward to glee.

He wonders if she's still crawling in his window at night for chats with Quinn.

"Seriously, this isn't getting a reaction out of you?" Rachel asks him just as Louise stops singing and most of the club are shooting looks between him and Quinn –or Quinn and Puck or whatever- while Louise is smirking from her spot on the floor. Honestly, Puck has no idea what just happened.

"What? Reaction? What did she sing?" Rachel hides a smile behind her hand while San just flat out laughs. He glances over to Quinn with a frown, "What did I miss?"

"Nothing, babe." Okay, so Quinn's totally going to need to explain what the hell just happened because he totally zoned out –it's not even his fault, it's just that Louise and her singing is just a little boring and he tends not to pay attention to her. He's pretty sure that everyone thinks Quinn –as in him- hates Louise (not totally true, he doesn't particularly like the girl, but he doesn't hate her) and she seems to take that as a personal slight. Someone should explain that Quinn hates a lot of people on principle.

"Thank you, Louise." Schue is just as lost as he is, Puck's sure of it from the expression. "Now, before we finish up and you all head out with your assignments, we have one more spur of the moment performance." There's a grin on Schue's face as he rubs his hands together and looks at Quinn. "Puck?"

She wasn't. She wouldn't. Oh, she so would. Suddenly, Rach's giddiness and San's stupid smug smirk made so much sense and he was legit going to kill her or something. She just smirked at him, picking up the waiting guitar and strumming out a few notes that he didn't recognise straight off the bat. "_She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes, she can ruin your faith with her casual lies,_" Puck can't help the small laugh, because she's seriously singing Billy Joel to him? 'Always a Woman' has to be one of the most insulting serenades ever, and it's just so _them_ that Puck isn't convinced Rachel didn't help Quinn pick the song until he glances at Berry and she is just shocked. Okay, so Rachel didn't help. "_ She will promise you more, than the Garden of Eden, then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleedin'. But she'll bring out the best and the worst you can be. Blame it all on yourself cause she's always a woman to me._" He's not sure if he should be offended or seriously confused, or just go with it, because Quinn's actually managed to work shit so that _she_ is legit singing to _him_ and not just doing some saccharine crap that'll make him look like a pussy.

When she finishes up the song, everyone is just silent as she puts down the guitar and frankly, they should be applauding her for finding the fucking perfect song and having the balls to sing it to him in front of them. She seriously just ribbed the ever loving fuck out of herself and he has never liked her more. He at least waits until the guitar is safely out of the way before crossing the floor to hit her shoulder with a grin on his face.

"You are such a dork. What did I tell you, no more singing you, argh, you infuriate me." Quinn just laughs at him, pulling him by the wrist that she caught when he hit her shoulder and practically smothering him in a hug.

"You love it," he's not admitting that it was kind of cool. "C'mon, admit it, you totally love it."

"Noah, as lovely as your intentions might be, I um, was that-" Rach glances around while Quinn and Puck watch her from the middle of the floor, Puck's arm around Quinn's waist while Quinn keeps an arm around his shoulders (he totally knows that they are seeing Puck cuddle Quinn but that is only half the story, isn't it). "It's just that was a vaguely insulting song choice and, I just, Quinn, why are you laughing?"

"Because it's true." If Quinn can poke fun at herself from his body, then he can own up to that shit. "At least Noah understands what he's getting himself in to."

"Bring it, baby." Puck isn't too oblivious to Louise's huff and glare, as Quinn dips in to steal a quick kiss right there. He also doesn't miss that slightly pinched look on Finn's face and really, is he still being weird over the whole ex-girlfriend thing?

"Keep that up and I'll make your life hell, just because I can. I will make Lauren look like a walk in the park." They keep up the banter even as they're dismissed from glee with a shrug from Schue and Puck knows that they're getting stares from most of the group, because this is so very relaxed for both of them and who the hell cares.

Quinn just threads her fingers through his to pull them both out the door with their back packs in hand and Puck throws a wave to Rachel and Santana over his shoulder at them while Quinn drags him towards the now deserted locker room, because she decides that she needs a little reward for being such an awesome 'boyfriend'.

#

It should be surprising just how drama free Puck and Quinn find their relationship. Rachel and Finn had already broke up and got back together by the time Puck and Quinn hit the one month mark for their 'dating', it's the two and a half month mark for their body swap experience. And it's disturbingly _normal_ now. Like, Puck finds himself doing this shit second nature, he's just too used to it now. He's a total fucking chick and he doesn't even notice until after the fact and he's starting to worry that he'll be doing this shit when he gets his body back. If he gets his body back.

He's sort of waging a war of wills against Sylvester, to the point where they exchange barbs in the hallway and he's pretty sure that Sue is over the audacity of it and is just enjoying the verbal sparring, because he caught her smirking once. And school isn't actually that hard, really. He's still maintaining Quinn's grades, and he knows that Quinn's pulling his up, so maybe when they get back to normal he'll work to keep that up. He's only a little aware of how things will change when they do get back to normal, because he's started to get used to all the abnormal, and maybe him and Quinn work like this because it's not normal. Because Quinn just lets herself go and maybe that's all just because she's the guy this time. Which should be weird.

It's the control, Puck knows it's the control. Quinn gets to be the one in charge and that's what makes it all so much easier for her. She's the one with the hand on his back, doing the directing, she's the larger one with the steadying frame, she's just expected to take the lead because she's the guy. And Puck wonders if that means he's naturally meant to just _submit_ or something, because he's entirely comfortable with letting Quinn do it. With Lauren it was more of a battle of wills and she occasionally forced him into situations where he had to let her take charge and it was a little uncomfortable. But Quinn just makes it utterly natural and Puck doesn't care. It might be because he has chick parts now, but it's weird.

And he _likes_ it.

He likes that she drops her arm over his shoulders and almost engulfs him, he likes that she steals kisses and pulls him into her chest and runs her hand through his hair when they kiss. He really likes when she presses him into a wall and fucks him incoherent like she did three days ago on the landing in his house (which was actually Quinn's house but he's totally just thinking of it as his now –he's lived there for two months). The whole thing is just making him wonder about things that he doesn't want to think about and he's resolute in not thinking about it.

Whatever this whole thing is about, it's seriously messing with his head. And possibly his heart a little, because he knew he loved Quinn before, and maybe that had faded a little to just _wanting_ her, but he's pretty sure he's full blown in love with her and it's not _really_ her anymore or something. Because it's her _as_ him, if that makes any sense at all and he seriously wishes that someone else was in on this whole thing so that he could just rant and rave for a while because Quinn isn't good at bottling things up.

He's fine acting at school, he's gotten really good at playing Quinn and when he slips up everyone just assumes that it's _Puck's_ influence, chilling him out. Although his lack feeling towards Louise has actually changed into a dislike for the girl, because she's some kind of pest that really feels the need to just _worm _into everything.

He didn't honestly realise that Louise was interested in _Puck_ until Schue paired her and Quinn up for part of a group routine and then Puck saw it; the way Louise leaned in to Quinn, the way her shirt suddenly lost a button and how her hands totally ran over Quinn's abs whenever they could. Suddenly, the conversations he'd had with Rach, about how she was surprised that he was so confident in his relationship with Noah that he wasn't getting jealous or possessive or any of those crazy girl things. Except now, he's starting to get a little jealous. Because Quinn's _reacting_ to it. He blames the girl hormones and stuff, but he actually has a minor –okay, moderately minor- freak out in the bathroom at school one afternoon after they did a rehearsal in glee. Louise was dancing with Quinn and Puck was running through steps with Kurt and he couldn't help but notice that Quinn let her hand linger on Louise's back. Kurt notices where he's looking and he gives Puck this pathetically sympathetic look that definitely makes Puck want to punch something –probably Quinn, or Louise.

It's the way Louise laughs at Quinn, and Quinn just smirks. It's the way Louise leaves her hand on Quinn's arm, and Quinn lets her. It's the fucking that Louise smirks and licks her lips like she's getting something or about to and Puck hasn't ever felt that acrid boil of something in his gut _ever_. Not even when Finn thought he was Beth's dad and Quinn played along, because back then it was just anger, but this, this is definitely jealousy. He just needs to turn around and walk out to the bathroom and chill for a minute before he even thinks about standing in a room –or the auditorium- with Quinn and Louise.

So he freaks out. Because it was meant to be fake, right? Well it's not, and it's fucking obvious from his perspective that Quinn is on the 'fake' train while he's not. It makes sense, he loved her before and she didn't love him back, did she, so why would she now. The worst thing is that he thought they were fine, but evidently it's just the sex –it shouldn't surprise him. So now he needs to break up with her or something, because if he doesn't she's just going to fuck someone else or whatever and then Rachel will be forced to take _Quinn's_ side and hate Noah forever and really, he's not down with that, because he will get his own body back at some point and he's not losing everything from it.

He's just glad he didn't burst into tears or some shit like that.

Ignoring Quinn for the rest of the day is telling of itself that he's pissed at her. Because usually they hang around together, usually she'll walk him to class or at least meet him at his locker, but he makes a point of avoiding all that and not even looking at her. He's too worried that he will have a really girly moment or something.

The problem is that Quinn knows that Judy works, that she's not home when he gets home and it means Quinn just comes over after school and walks into the house and then there's no holding back.

"What the hell is your problem?" It's not surprising that when they fight they still really go for it, they run hot and cold and while lately, it's all been good, it's nothing unusual to rip into each other.

"My problem? You are my problem. You were the one that didn't want all that bullshit dating thing with people, so we agreed to this, and fine it worked to let out the stress, and yes, you're still great at sex, so if you want to fuck someone just fucking tell me and we can end this stupid fake relationship and you can bone half of Lima. God knows I have, why don't you give it a whirl." Quinn's voice gets this thready way when she's worked up, and Puck notices it more because he's using it. He's not about to cry, but if they are breaking up he's sure he can call Rachel and let it out there.

"What are you talking about?"

"Louise. I'm not fucking blind. She's not _my_ style, but hey, if you want something new just go for it. But at least fucking tell me so that I can do damage control." He absolutely hates being the responsible one, the one doing the thinking, but Quinn is really getting into the whole 'being a guy' thing, as Rachel terms Quinn's less than thinking clearly moments.

"Jesus, Puck. I'm not having sex with her." Quinn spits it out, stepping towards him and Puck knows they might not be doing it yet, but Louise would definitely shuck the 'nice junior girl' act in a heartbeat if Quinn just winked at her. "You're getting worked up about this now? After like, a month of it?"

"What?" Okay so Puck's not overly observant about this stuff, he doesn't get the whole chick thing just yet; it's a good thing in his mind, because he's enough of a chick without understanding them. So Rachel told him about the song that Louise sang, pretty much to _Puck_ the day that Quinn sang to him, and he gets that Louise is under the impression that she's got enough of a draw to lure Puck in –after Lauren, the consensus seemed to be that Puck would be easy again. But Louise didn't seem to think that _Quinn_ was competition. Apparently, she lived in a box when she was a Freshman and didn't know that Quinn and Puck had a baby.

"She's been flirting with me ever since she joined glee." Like that makes it okay or something.

"You don't have to flirt back!" Had Quinn been flirting back since then? He knew that she still flirted with a few girls around school, Rach and San both mentioned how chill he was being over that shit, but really, he'd never actually put any stock in it. Quinn was just _flirting_, it was just words and compliments and smiles, she wasn't doing anything. Until Puck saw the hand and the lean and that fucking look and apparently Quinn might actually be that much of a dude. "Okay, this is not about my reputation or any of that shit, but if I want Rachel to even look me in the eye when we get our bodies back, you need to either stop with the bullshit with Louise or fucking end it with me before you fuck her, because cheating is a big no-no with Rach."

"I'm not cheating, there's no cheating, I just- God, Puck, I didn't think you cared."

"What?" That was definitely a waver in his voice, shit, he's actually going to cry.

"I thought you didn't care, she's been doing it forever and I legit thought you just didn't care so I just, I seriously just- this seriously bothers you?" Quinn's right in front of him now, hands on his shoulders and he just nods, because it's not some fake thing for him.

"I didn't notice. I just thought- I don't know, we were doing good and stuff and I didn't know that she was doing it until today, when I saw you fucking touch her." Yeah, he's pretty sure this is what jealousy feels like. Quinn just smirks at him (like seriously, if that had been him, she'd claw his face off for smirking now) and wraps her arms around his waist, pulling him closer. It's automatic to run his hands up her chest and shoulders to thread his fingers together at the back of her neck, and doing this to his own body really did stop being weird like, ages ago.

"No more, okay? I won't flirt with her, I won't flirt with anyone. I seriously just thought you didn't give a shit."

"I kinda do." He doesn't want to tell her not to flirt with people, because it's totally part of his nature, but at the same time, he really kind of hates that she does it. "Just, not with Louise, okay? I just sort of hate that girl." Quinn smirks, leaning down and nudging his head up to kiss him.

"Okay, no more with Louise." Her hands run down to his ass, slipping under his Cheerio's skirt to smooth over his spanks. "Does that constitute our first proper fight as a couple?"

"I think so, yeah. I mean, as much as we can have a fight if we're just pretending to be a couple and stuff." Chicks are passive aggressive, it seems to be written into the DNA or something.

"It's not pretending. Is it?" He just shakes his head, because this is bordering on 'feelings' and he's still not good at that, but neither is Quinn so that's good. "So, our first fight. We should make up." Her hands find their way up to the zip of her Cheerio top and Puck just smirks because she's really fond of this making up thing.

#

"For someone who was literally raging with her boyfriend yesterday, you look awful chipper." Puck just glares a little at Santana, but ends up laughing because he's already blushing. "And that is definitely a Puckerman hickey on your neck, it's a fucking heart. Seriously, you two are just sickening."

"Oh, shut up." Puck can't help but reach up to cover the hickey just below his ear, because Quinn was making a point when she left that –not that she didn't make a point on the living room floor, or in the shower, or against the bedroom door. The point possibly being that she liked dishing out those orgasms or something.

"You and Noah sorted things out?" Rach looks at him like she's more invested in their relationship than she is her own, and it's kinda nice to know she's rooting for them and all, but it does mean talking relationship stuff all the time.

"Yeah, we're fine, it was just. I just over reacted." And Quinn poked until it happened, so, they were even or something. "Everything is fine."

"Oh my god, how much sex are you guys having?" Avery sits down beside them at that and stares at her girlfriend.

"Are we talking about straight sex again?"

"No, Ave, we aren't, because there is nothing to discuss, San." Santana just flips him off, smiling at Avery while they find another topic to discuss until Avery heads off to catch her brother between classes.

"Have you noticed how we appear to have garnered an attention solely for our relationships this year?" Puck raises his eyebrow at Rachel, because seriously, what did she expect?

"Um, Rach, you and I are dating two of the football teams best players, San is with a fellow Cheerio. We're sort of high profile couples." Rach knocked a carrot over with her stick of celery before sighing.

"Don't take this the wrong way, because I'm happy for both of you, but the power couple war isn't Finchel versus Quick versus Savery." Honestly, San and Ave's portmanteau was kind of catchy. It was probably Puck's favourite out of their group. "It's just Quick versus Savery and you two aren't even bothered by it so why Jacob Ben Israel keeps trying to make it into something, I don't understand. But Finn and I, we're just, it's just."

"You're done." Puck has been telling Rachel this for over a month. Apparently, San agrees.

"Rach, here's the thing. Finn Hudson is small time, small mind, and I know we've had our differences, but babe, you gotta get yourself something better. Cause Finn ain't your boy. He's just some dorky pre-epic romance that you've been warming up with. God, even Jesse was better for you than that dork. At least St Shitface understood your dreams." Puck's still not sure how Santana and Rachel managed to put everything behind them, but it seems like it was easy to just move past it all.

"Maybe you just don't belong with a high school boy, Rach. And I'm not encouraging you to develop another inappropriate crush on Mr Schue, because with your animal sweaters and his vests, the world doesn't that much tragedy in one wardrobe," seriously, too much time working with Hummel in French, "but maybe Lima isn't where you're going to find this soulmate of yours."

"Yeah, what Q said." By the end of the day, Finchel is officially over and Rach isn't crying. It's a little scary, because honestly Puck never really believed she'd do it.

"Rachel broke up with Finn?" Quinn is just as surprised as everyone.

"Yeah, San said something about small time and sharing dreams, and I sort of, might've suggested that she wasn't meant to find her match here in Lima or something. She did what she does best and jumped in, both feet first." The news explodes around school and Puck half hopes that Finn being on the market will mean that Louise stops trying to get in Quinn's pants and focus some attention on Finn –because Finn is the one that everyone wants, right? So she'll jump from 'Puck' to Finn easily, right?

"You wanna come over tonight? Ruth's working and Sarah's away for a sleep over."

"I would, but Judy's caught a bug or something, she's a little pathetic." And Puck was pretty good at taking care of sick people, or just people who were needy, or just whatever. He spent the weekend holding Judy's hair from her face as she vomited, filling up hot water bottles for her and running baths for her to try and relax in. So it makes sense, to Puck, midway through the following week when he's upchucking into the toilet in the middle of the school day.

"You look terrible." San comes out with it as Puck sits down in the choir room, the rest of the club shuffling away from him.

"Mom got me sick." Rach is almost instantly there with a handful of damp paper towels, patting at his forehead and neck and rubbing his back. "I feel disgusting."

"You look it, but hey, that's not out of the ordinary." Even sick, Puck knows that the patented Fabray Glare can cut grown men down, so he's not surprised that Louise looks contrite when he directs it towards her.

"C'mon baby," Quinn takes his hands, pulling him out of the seat and Puck just wants to sit down and not move, "I'm taking you home and putting you to bed." San chuckles something and Puck doesn't catch it, but Quinn definitely throws a glare at her as she wraps an arm around his shoulders and Puck doesn't bother not snuggling into Quinn's chest.

"But I'm all yuck."

"I know, a shower'll fix that and then you can sleep, okay?" It sounds pretty good, so he just lets Quinn tug him out of glee and down the hall and out to the truck to take him home. He's definitely using the whole 'I'm ill' thing to get Quinn to cuddle some.

#


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **Not mine. No money. No affiliation.

**AN:** Gender swap sex ahead.

Puck kind of hates being sick. It's not even the throwing up, or the fever sweat, or even the sore muscles, it's just the lack of energy to do anything. But Judy's little bug lasted a week, and Puck hit the five days so he's looking for the recovery to start soon. Judy felt so bad about getting her little Quinny sick that she let him stay off school after Quinn brought him home that first day. And Quinn had been right, the shower made him feel less disgusting, although he threw up right after it, and then Quinn stayed to cuddle with him in bed until Judy came home and Quinn explained things.

And yeah, being home is nice; he gets to sleep a lot, and Judy is pampering. He spends two days on the couch, watching television in between throwing up and sleeping. Rach and San call but don't stop by and Quinn comes over twice to snuggle with him and tell him all the stuff he's missing. Apparently, Rachel slapped Louise for trying to cop a feel of the guns. Puck laughs until he pukes.

He has the sense to be back in school for the first football game of the season, because Coach S. would kill him if he wasn't there for the squad. He only feels a little queasy, but the fever broke a while ago and he's managed to mostly keep his soup down that day, so it's all good. Quinn keeps shooting him glances from on the field and Puck can't help but watch her play, because she's _good_. It's hot as hell. And Puck genuinely gets the appeal of the football uniform, he does. San nudges him when he gets a little too caught up staring at Quinn, and Britt giggles at him after drawing a little heart in the air.

"Are you doing okay?" Rach hangs back with him and San after the game while the guys get changed; they won the game, of course they did, because Beiste knew what she was doing, and Coach S. wandered off in some rage fuelled rant with Becky at her side taking notes on something. "No more sickness?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little tired really." Puck never really understood why he got tired after spending so much time in his fucking bed, because he barely did anything all week. "You coming along to the party with us?" It was the first proper party of the year, and really, they couldn't _not_ go. Quinn was sort of looking forward to it since it was her first party as one of the guys and Puck just wanted to have some fun, after a week of puking.

"I don't know, isn't it just footballers, Cheerio's and their girlfriends or boyfriends?" Rachel shot a slightly hesitant look over towards where Liza was standing, because Finn hadn't wasted time in getting over Rach and Rach was doing that whole 'trying not to show it hurts' thing, even though they all sort of knew Finn and Rachel weren't going to last with an expiration date anyway.

"Well, Q has Puckerman, and I have Ave, so you can go as one of our dates and if anyone says anything, Puck can toss them in the pool."

"I know he's missing physical violence just a little." Truthfully, Quinn was getting far too eager to exert physical violence in Puck's opinion, but she just smiled and shrugged when he brought it up. "C'mon Rach, you can even let loose a little, cause I'm driving." Puck wasn't ready to face Quinn's alcohol tolerance, or her lack of one, while still on antibiotics for this infection. So he was actually being responsible and playing designated driver for the night. Of course he was only willing to drive San, Ave, Rach and Quinn –and he was aware that he was hanging out with girls _way_ too much, but the only other option for him was Hummel and really, he didn't see a difference there.

And Rachel does let go at the party, Quinn heads in with them but sort of gets lost somewhere with the guys and Puck's totally cool with that, he just chills with Ave, who he sort of has a good few common interests with (including their One Tree Hill fascination that they don't share with Rachel and San) so it's cool to hang out and chat while they have fun. His first party as a girl goes rather well, although a hand ends up on his ass and Quinn does throw two people in the pool –neither of them are Finn.

Rach and San are doing body shots off Avery when two arms wrap around Puck's waist and this time he knows it's Quinn without needing to check, because no one else is likely to try anything now. He can tell that Quinn's a little bit drunk, but she's also a bit annoyed too, so he doesn't say anything just then, just placing his hands over Quinn's wrists and leaning back.

It's another shift between them. Because Quinn would usually just blow up and let it all out, while he'd bite his tongue until it came to a head and then he'd let rip, usually with physical violence. So now he's the one that bubbles with whatever he's feeling almost all the time and she's holding things in and he needs to make sure that she doesn't fall back on his old habits and actually resort to violence, because he would hate himself if she ended up in juvie because of his stupid decisions from a year ago and her inability to control the abnormal reactions. He sticks close to her for the rest of the night, and it seems to help her.

"Quinn, isn't it a better idea to drop Santana off after me, because you'll be driving back out here when you're going home." Rachel isn't that drunk that she doesn't spot the weird way that he's driving everyone home. Logically, after dropping Avery, it'd be smarted to do Santana, Puck, Rachel and then Quinn. But he isn't intending on going back to the Fabray house, and Judy is aware of this, because his Ma and Sarah are out of town and he kind of wants to spend some time with Quinn.

"I um, I'm staying at Puck's house tonight." Quinn's still sitting quiet in the passenger seat as Rachel leans forward behind them and Puck would note that Quinn's hand is just sitting on his thigh like it belongs there. No one had commented about it anyway.

"Oh," Rach seems unable to form a single coherent response to that, so she sits back and Puck can see her worrying her lip between her teeth in the rear view mirror. "You um, you take care of her, okay Noah?" Quinn just snorts, but there's a smile on her face.

"She's just sleeping over, Rach, nothing is happening while she's not feeling well."

"Oh, right, okay." Puck wasn't aware that nothing was going to happen, because he didn't feel that bad anymore. It did make sense though, if he was feeling remotely queasy it was a bad idea. Throwing up in the middle of having sex might put a serious cramp in their relationship. "Goodnight, thanks for inviting me."

Santana is less oblivious to the fact that Quinn hasn't let go of Puck's thigh the entire drive, so when she gets out of the car she sticks her head back in to remind them to play safe and have a good time. Puck can feel himself blushing the whole drive home. Which feels a little strange.

He pulls up into the drive next to his truck, where his Ma's car would usually sit, and follows Quinn up to the door and then inside. Being back inside his own house is comforting and strange all at the same time, because nothing has changed, but it feels like it's not his anymore. Because he's so used to Quinn's house maybe, or just because it's not _him_ standing there. It's too much to really think about. Especially as Quinn silently takes his hand and pulls him up the stairs to his room, closing the door behind them and just moving to wrap her arms around his waist to pull him against her chest. He's figured out that something happened at the party, before Quinn came to find him and the girls, someone must've done something or said something that got to her and she's still figuring out what to do with it.

Puck gives her the time to deal with it, stroking along the back of the mohawk and just standing there with her. He knows there's no point in pushing for anything, because he won't get anything, so letting her get there and say it in her own time is the best thing to do.

"How're you feeling?"

"Fine," he's mostly been okay, just a roll of the stomach on occasion, but it's just a little queasiness that always goes away. "Are you okay?"

"I will be." Threads a hand in his hair, tugging his head back and sealing their mouths together in a harsh, desperate kiss. Puck doesn't get the chance to comment on it or try to control it or even to really return it before Quinn's pulling down his spanks and panties and directing him towards the bed. It's not what he's used to, really, the way Quinn just pushes her jeans down, pulls his leg up and thrusts into him. There's a small flash of pain at the roughness, but Quinn's teeth graze over the juncture of his neck and suddenly the roughness isn't a bad thing at all.

He can't really do much more than clutch to her shoulders and try to keep pace, but even that's difficult when Quinn doesn't keep to an actual rhythm. It's just quick, hard thrusts and then she slips a hand between them to get him off. Which is equally rough and Puck's half jerking away from it and into it as the pleasure spikes and rolls through him. Quinn grunts into his shoulder, stilling after a few minutes and gasping against his neck. He has no idea what brought it on, but he doesn't comment at all.

It's careful way clothes are removed afterwards and the soft way Quinn kisses him, like she's making up for what just happened when she really doesn't need to. But Puck kind of doesn't mind the way her hands run over his body, or the way she follows the trail with her lips, soothing every part of him until she places this gentle kiss over his heart. He doesn't get it, but he figures it's something Quinn's going to come out with on her own, and he's okay with waiting until she's ready for it.

He's perfectly content to cuddle into her, and from the way she wraps herself around him, he's fairly certain she needs it a little.

#

When Puck wakes up, Quinn isn't in bed, she's in the kitchen. He has no idea what she's trying to cool but one sniff of it and he's darting for the bathroom, because it is vile. She comes upstairs, probably when she hears him retching everything he ate last night into the toilet bowl. She's there with a glass of water and a toothbrush when he finishes and Puck doesn't turn his nose up at it.

"What the hell are you burning?" Quinn's a little sheepish as they head down into the kitchen, she's just in sweatpants so he doesn't feel at all bothered about just being in one of her shirts. There's something bubbling on the stove and Puck fights down the wave of nausea at the smell again, flicking off the gas and covering his nose and mouth with a towel. "Oy, Quinn, this is worse than when Sarah tried to grill a weasel." And that hadn't gone well at all.

"I was trying to make something nice for you. I followed everything the recipe said and it still ended up like that." Seriously, he doesn't want to know what the hell she might be trying.

"Quinn, babe, please never ever cook for me." It's sweet, in this disgustingly horrific smelling way, that she'd even attempt it with her track record of cooking. But he'd rather not have food poisoning to go with the bug he's getting over. "Okay, what're we doing today?"

"We are vegging out here. Ruth isn't home until forever, so it's just you and me until four in the afternoon and it's not even nine yet. We have ages before we even need to get dressed." Spending Saturday in a shirt, curled up against her chest on the sofa was pretty much the greatest way to spend the morning.

He heads home around three, Quinn kissing him against the door frame for fifteen minutes sort of hindering that attempt to begin with and they plan a date for the following night. He gets a text message from Finn randomly that night and just frowns at the phone for thirty minutes, sitting on Quinn's bed. It's the first time Finn had sent a text to _Quinn_. Puck has been in her body for two months and it's the first time 'FINN' has flashed on his new message screen.

"So, if an ex-boyfriend who's just gotten out of a relationship with your best friend texts you to ask 'how're you doing' with a smiling face and a kiss at the end, what does that mean?" He goes with Santana on this one, calling her before he even thinks about replying to Finn's text.

"Are you serious? Hudson is playing _that_ game?" Puck's not sure, but he thinks that Santana is referring to the game that Finn seems prone to pulling; the one where he always goes after the girl he can't have. Puck's used to that, he has a tendency to fall for the girl he can't have, Quinn was the first one, Rachel for a while, maybe, Lauren to an extent. But Quinn was the biggest example since he fell for her while she was Finn's and even after sort of getting her he never had her.

"Pretty sure he is. And last night, Puck was a little, well, off."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm not saying- I don't," it's hard to explain Quinn-as-Puck to anyone really, but even he knows that the sex last night was different, there was something to it that Quinn couldn't get without well, whatever she felt she needed to do. "He wasn't rough, but there was definitely a hint of needing to prove something." Funnily, Puck doesn't mind talking about this with Santana, because Santana knows enough about him to get it, and she knows Quinn well enough to get it. And Santana knows sex, so she's probably his best bet at trying to understand what the hell is going on right now.

"You know, I heard that something happened. Sam mentioned something to Aretha, Finn was running his mouth or something. Liza left early and I'm pretty sure she's given up on getting Hudson." Great, so Finn was being a douche and Quinn probably heard something and now they've got other peoples drama to sort out.

"Great. If tomorrow night's date with Puck goes horrific, can I count on you to go over and see him?" Most girls probably wouldn't encourage their boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's to sneak into their house at night to talk about their current relationship, but Quinn might need to get something off her chest and Santana would be the safest bet for '_Puck_' to rant at.

"Sure thing, Q. And then I'll go castrate Hudson." Sometimes, Santana is just awesome.

#

Puck texts Finn back on Sunday morning. He keeps it short, vague and fairly distant. Just a simple 'doing good and have a busy day see you at school' type thing. There are not smiling faces, no kisses, no anything. He's not stupid enough to get caught in some trap with Finn. He honestly can't tell what Finn's game is, but he doesn't mention anything to Quinn, choosing to just ignore it and enjoy their date.

Which doesn't go badly at all. Whatever funk Quinn was in, she seems fine. They go out for pizza and then to the movies and Puck spends the whole time with his fingers laced through Quinn's. He's not sure if he needs Quinn to know that he's trying to be supportive of whatever it is that's going on, or if she'll just need the contact to figure it out herself. Either way, it feels good. Even though things go well, he still texts Santana to ask her to drop by to see 'Puck' and check-up.

It's not that he's nervous, or even all that worried about them. Because it's fairly clear to him that whatever it was that bothered Quinn, she wanted to reassure herself that she still had _him_. And Puck knows all about using sex for that.

He still tracks down Sam first thing on Monday morning.

"What the hell did Finn say to Puck on Friday night?"

"What? Nothing. He didn't say a thing." Puck isn't convinced and it only takes raising one eyebrow for Sam to figure that out. "Okay, he didn't say anything to Puck, but he might've said something that Puck overheard." What Puck is having a hard time working out is why _Quinn _got worked up about whatever it was that Finn said. Because sometimes Finn is just an idiot and says stuff and Puck just goes with it; Finn's called him names without meaning it, implied he's a whore without realising it, insulted his family and not noticed and it's just something Finn does. Finn has no brain to mouth filter and Puck got used to that when they were ten.

"What did he say?"

"Why do you care?" Okay, so now Puck had to work on Sam as well with his Quinn issues. Great. "The great Finn Hudson is chasing your skirt tails again, is it any wonder Puck's a little moody?"

"Okay, Sam, I know we've got issues and I know I messed up. I'm sorry. What happened between us was unfair and not your fault and you can hate me if you really want. But come on, you and Mercedes are great, she gets you and I think that's what you need. I didn't bond with your siblings and I wasn't all that interested in your geek stuff. So could you please just look past that and tell me what Finn said that –wait, Finn's after _me_?"

This is like another mental stumbling block. Because yeah, Finn is the kind of guy who swings between his girls. If he's not after Rachel he always seems to sway back to Quinn. It's like he can't make up his mind who he wants more or whatever. But it's not an option anymore, because Rachel dumped Finn, Quinn and Rachel are friends now, 'Quinn' is in a relationship and Puck has no intentions of dating Finn while pretending to be Quinn anyway. So why the hell would Quinn get upset about this? She knows that whatever happens Puck's not even going to touch that. Unless she's wishing she were herself right now so that she could actually get back with Finn and that just makes Puck feel a little sick again.

"It was just some comment he made, okay. He said that you were just killing time with Puck, that things weren't serious and if he wanted to, he'd get you back easy." Considering everyone was under the impression that him and Quinn were like solid or something, it's weird that Finn thinks he could just snap his fingers and get Quinn back. Except is it? Quinn wanted Finn over him in Sophomore year; hell, Quinn wanted Finn over him before that, since she knew that both he and Finn were interested in her at the start of Freshman year and she picked Finn. So really, Finn has a track record of getting her.

"I have to find Puck."

"So you're at least going to dump him rather than cheat on him?" And maybe Quinn deserves that, but he doesn't have time to get into things with Sam.

"No, so I can smack him up his stupid head and convince him Finn's full of crap." And if Quinn wants to throw a discrete punch that no one will hear about or see, he's okay with that too.

#

Somehow, it's lunch before he sees Quinn. He's already talked to Rachel and Santana before then and that involved a meeting in the girl's restroom. Santana felt it was important to fill Rach in and Puck just went with it because Rachel had to have the most level head out of all of them.

"So, you and Puck did have sex on Friday night?"

"Yes, we did, can we skip that part and talk about the fact that Finn seems to think he can snap his fingers and I'll come running?" He honestly doesn't know what's pissing him off more. Finn thinking that Quinn will jump back into a relationship with him (he dumped her at a funeral for crying out loud), Finn thinking Puck and Quinn are just 'fooling around' or Finn honestly thinking that Quinn would just ignore her friendship for Rachel just to get back with him.

"He's deluding himself. Come on, Finn still think he's the star football player, when he's not. Mike's gotten more field covered this year than Finn, Puckerman's totally holding his own and Sam deserves more time as QB just to show Finn he's not all that. His lack of attention to Rach just sort of shows how blind he is. Like she's happy to just be with him or something." Santana apparently, is not holding back. "But seriously Q, this is messing with Puck. It's not like with you and Louise, because you and Finn, you've got history."

"I'm not leaving Puck for Finn. I'm not."

"Does Noah realise this?" Rachel's been really quiet on the whole thing which he gets, he does, but he could really use a little more than Santana's suggestion of taking _Puck _against the piano in the choir room during glee.

"Shouldn't he? We've been together a month and a half, we've been, y'know,"

"Fucking, screwing, bumping uglies, making the beast with two backs, humping,"

"Thank you Santana." Puck misses her vulgarity sometimes, "But yeah, we've had sex, it's a big thing, he knows that."

"Not really, not to Puck. He's a bit of a slut, Q. And you know I don't mean it in a bad way, because I'm kinda like that myself. But sex isn't the same to him as it is to you."

"Noah needs more than physical reminders. It's strange, but what you say actually has more effect on him than what you do." And it's weird, but he'd never actually thought of it that way. Did Quinn think this wasn't as big a deal to him because he was just the guy who had sex with whoever? Did Quinn think he didn't consider this relationship as important because he'd have sex with anyone really? It sort of made sense in a weird way, and he figured that maybe what she needed was actually something out of character from him.

Which is why, when he finally sees Quinn, crossing the floor in the cafeteria to join them at the glee table, he doesn't really think twice about it. Quinn's hunched over, fists in her jean pockets, shoulders slumped, head down. He knows that look because he walked like that after Quinn told him that she was lying through her teeth for as long as possible about their baby. It's dejection and shame and fear.

Santana smirks at him as he gets up from the table, Rach just gives him this nod and a smile and Puck ignores the rest of the group –Quinn is actually the only one not there. Mike and Tina and Artie and Britt all sit at the far end, Finn and Sam and Mercedes are down one side, San and Rach were beside him while Kurt, Blaine and the fresh meat sat at the far end. Quinn looks up at him as he just walks over and kisses her, right in the middle of the cafeteria. It's automatic for Quinn's arms to wrap around his waist, for her to lean into him and take the control and he just lets her, melting into her chest and pushing his fingers through the short strands of hair at the base of the mohawk.

"I love you," their foreheads are pressed together and he just whispers it against her mouth, "forget about Finn and whoever and whatever is going on in your head. I love you and whatever happens with our situation, that's not going to change." Her arms tighten around his waist, pulling him closer before she catches his lips in another quick kiss and then moves them backwards, heading to the glee table.

No one says anything, even though almost the whole school witnessed it, and Rach and San move up so that Quinn can sit and Puck practically perches himself on her thigh. He does see the frown from Finn, and he does she the half proud and half forgiving nod from Sam, but all he's really bothered about is the way Quinn leans in, presses her lips to his throat and murmurs the words back against his skin.

Take that, Finn Hudson.

#

"What're everyone's Thanksgiving plans?" They got past Halloween a week ago, so Rachel believes it's okay to start on Thanksgiving. Puck would like to just get through his first major test in French, thanks very much. Either way it doesn't matter; Quinn explained that they don't do Thanksgiving anymore because of her Dad and his lack of being involved and how Judy sort of hates it anyway and Puck hasn't done Thanksgiving since his Dad walked out that day almost ten years ago. They're half planning to spend it together anyway.

"Mom's looking to do some weird dinner thing with my cousins and aunt, they're driving in from Columbus," Santana doesn't look overly pleased. "If that bitch asks just once, why I can't just be straight, I'm gonna stab her with my fork." While Santana's mother has been supportive of her choice to come out as a lesbian –because dudes just aren't doing it for her at all, her mother's sister isn't so keen.

"You can come over to my place if that happens. Daddy keeps asking me about you anyway, it'd be cool." Avery seems to have a more stable home life, she calls it boring, but most of the time it seems like something a few of them wouldn't mind at all. Her Dad is some kind of car dealer and her mom is a dental hygienist. Simple, plain, boring if you're Avery.

"Well, Dad and Daddy are hoping to take me to Chicago."

"Weren't you just in Chicago?"

"Yes, but Aunt Gertrude has these theatre tickets," Puck doesn't feel bad about zoning out, playing with the food on his plate and just letting Rachel's voice wash over him. It's not like he's keeping track or anything, but Thanksgiving would mark him and Quinn's four month mark on body swapping. It'll be their three month dating anniversary on the Saturday after Thanksgiving –he knows this because Rachel's pointed it out to him twice and Hummel brought it up four times in the last week.

People keep asking if _Puck_ has anything planned for them and he's not sure if _he's_ supposed to take care of that or if Quinn is. Logically speaking, he's still the guy, but Quinn seems far more capable at the guy stuff when it comes to this –probably because she's really the chick and knows what the chick should want. It's this stuff that still gets to him. He's mostly over all the other stuff; the hair and make-up, the size difference, the classes, the cheerleading instead of football, the house and family swap isn't as frustrating as it was. But trying to figure out their roles based on gender is fucking difficult and giving him a headache because he is a guy but he's technically the girl.

It's annoying.

Quinn doesn't exactly help, because she just sort of does whatever she wants and that is usually just something he rolls with. But she hasn't mentioned this whole 'anniversary' crap –seriously, three months is nothing, why aren't they waiting for the year? It just distracts him the whole day.

"You okay?" Quinn's driving him home that week, because Judy's car took a bump and bust it's exhaust and she's using Quinn's car. So they're driving around after school in the truck and Puck actually feels a little lost in his own truck. It's crazy scary how used to being Quinn he's becoming.

"Yeah, just thinkin' about some stuff." Quinn glances at him warily. Since he told her he loved her, and she told him, three weeks ago, they've not really had any issues. Things are simple, Finn isn't interfering, Louise isn't being a snotty little bitch. Well, Louise is being a snotty little bitch but Puck-as-Quinn is way better at it and the junior has no hope of ever competing. "Hummel keeps asking about our three month anniversary."

"Oh that, yeah. Rach practically cornered me to interrogate me about my intentions."

"What are our intentions? I mean, is three months a big deal? Are we doing anything? Thanksgiving is like right before it, should we just ignore it this time and wait for the six?"

"You think we'll make six months like this?"

"Like this?" In each-others bodies? He really, really hopes not. He's not sure why they're even in each-others bodies in the first place, but whatever it is, he hopes it's done and gone by the time they hit six months. "I hope not, but it's always a possibility."

"So you think we'll make it to six months?"

"Do you plan on dumping me before then?"

"No."

"Then I think we'll manage six months, and probably more." Quinn gives him this smile, because he has to face facts, even if he was in his own body when they hit six months and even if Quinn decided she didn't want to have sex anymore, he'd still be in love with her and he'd still want to be with her so really, why would they break up?

"What's one thing you miss about being a guy?" It's a pretty random question considering what they were just talking about, but maybe it's just Quinn's way of changing the topic, so he just goes with it. "And don't say sex."

"Why would I say sex? You have sex with me, like, all the time." And really, he's not bothered about who's on what side of it now; at first, sure, it was a little strange, but chicks' bodies are totally awesome and he's pretty down with it. Quinn seems pretty on board with the guy role in sex too, it's possibly because of the control or just because she can let go and not worry, Puck isn't all that sure if he's honest but he'd place money on the control thing. "I miss, guy sports." Quinn gives him another look, just glancing across before turning back to the road. "Like, cheerleading is great and all, but I miss baseball and contact sports and stupid things like paint ball and night golf."

"Well, what if we didn't do a soppy anniversary thing? What if we, well, what if we went paintballing? I've never done it, you're meant to be organising it. It could be fun." Puck can only grin at her.

"Seriously? I will give you a shmoopy, soppy romantic six month anniversary for this. Like, totally."

"You don't need to. I mean, Finn did the romantic stuff, and it always felt forced and unreal. I like how we don't feel like that. It's like, it's genuine." Mostly because he's always felt something for her, and yeah, he's pretty sure if he broke out the romantic stuff it wouldn't feel fake for her. But he'll keep that in mind for when they get back to normal and he can actually do that stuff for her. "So," they pull up outside the Fabray house, Quinn putting the truck in park but not killing the engine meaning she's not coming inside, "how about I get everything set up, we keep it quiet and then Rach won't bitch at me for how unromantic it all is?"

"Sounds good." He slides across the bench, leaning in to kiss her and smiling into it. Even with the nutjob body swap, it's the most stable and probably the best relationship he's ever had with anyone to date and that's pretty awesome in his mind. "Rach is picking me up tomorrow morning, she wants to go somewhere after school, so I'll see you later on."

"Sure, have fun meeting mom's boyfriend." And Puck didn't need that reminder.

"Yeah, you go have fun with the three screaming, crazy nine-year-old's, big brother." There's another quick kiss before Puck slips out of the truck and heads up into the house, waving as Quinn drives off. This was something he hadn't been expecting, but Judy was single and she was relatively young and good looking, so really she should get a boyfriend, that was fine. Besides, her ex-husband was already on girlfriend number three following their divorce.

Puck didn't actually want to meet the guy though.

Closing the front door, Puck headed into the kitchen, hearing the voices from in there. "Mom," it's no longer weird calling her that, even if she's not his mother, it's just a name. Just like he's gotten used to calling his Ma 'Mrs Puckerman' or 'Ruth' when she's in a really good mood. "Hey, I'm home." He ends up leaning against the door frame to the kitchen, watching Judy giggle and wipe some cream from the corner of her mouth with a blush on her face while the boyfriend ducks his head towards the cooker.

"Sweetie, how was school?" Judy tries to tidy herself up, but Puck's pretty sure she was pretty close to just letting the boyfriend ravish her against the kitchen counter. He wonders what she'd think if she knew that Puck and Quinn had already done that.

"Fine, really. Rach is going to Chicago for Thanksgiving and Santana has her aunt and cousins coming through. She's not overly thrilled so if the phone rings and there's an angry Latina on the other end, it's just San." Judy gives a small smile and nod. "Are you going to introduce us?"

"Um, Quinny, sweetie, this is Stephen. Stephen this is my daughter, Quinn." It's good that she didn't tell him that her name was Lucy, because then Puck would need to pull Quinn's bitch card like instructed and he doesn't really want to pull that.

"Hey there," Stephen is tall, somewhere between Finn's height and Puck's real height. Puck's pretty sure the guy played a sport of some kind, he's all broad shoulders and fairly muscled arms and he definitely looks a fair bit younger than Ms Fabray. Like college age. "Your mom's told me a lot about you."

"Really? I haven't heard much about you." Judy only just mentioned a few days ago that she'd been seeing someone –which Puck actually figured, because she was out late a lot and came in wearing clothes she wasn't wearing to work. It didn't take much to figure things out. "So, Stephen, what do you do?"

"I work for a real estate company as a realtor." That was something like what Quinn envisioned herself doing, wasn't it? "I've just started out but it's pretty good."

"Really? The state of the economy isn't royally screwing you over with the blown up prices and the near impossibility of getting a loan for a mortgage?" Judy and Stephen stare at him for a moment and Puck figures he should just move on. "How did you two meet?"

So Judy launches into this story about how they met at a hotel bar during one of her meetings with a CEO or something or other and started talking and how Stephen used the lamest pick up line that Puck's ever heard but Judy sort of wanted the attention anyway. He eats the spaghetti that Stephen made and further listens to a few stories, absently answering questions when asked. He's never been in this situation before, because his Ma never dated after his dad walked out, Sarah was too little and Puck couldn't watch her on his own and Nana never approved since, technically, Ma was still married. So it's the first time he's ever met a 'boyfriend' and had to deal with that 'we're going to be a family' thing, even if they weren't.

"So, Stephen has invited us to go to his family's home for Thanksgiving."

"What?" Judy just drops it right in there during desert. Puck drops the spoon into his bowl of ice cream, not even bothering with subtlety. "Mom, what happened to 'not doing' Thanksgiving?" See, they got the whole weekend off school, Thursday through to Monday was like a holiday or whatever, and he was looking forward to spending time with Quinn.

"Well, I thought that, since Stephen was being so sweet and inviting us along, it would be _rude _to say no." Puck totally catches just how she says it, so he knows that she thinks he's being a bitch or whatever.

"You know what else would be rude, cancelling my plans with _my _boyfriend."

"Oh, you have a boyfriend?" Stephen is apparently trying to defuse things, but it's unlikely to happen because Puck's still getting used to doing the teenage girl fighting with mom thing, but it's happened enough that he knows him and Judy are going to yell at each other over this.

"Yes, I do. One whom I've made plans to spend Thanksgiving with, and the weekend after that. Since it's our three month anniversary." Judy puts her own spoon down and crosses her arms.

"You know I'm happy that you and Noah are doing so well, but frankly, I'm not sure how I feel about all the time you spend with him."

"He's my _boyfriend_ mom, of course I'm going to spend a lot of time with him." And really, he's barely gotten any time with Quinn lately, it's all be him and Rach and San for a bit, he gets some time with Quinn at school and she drives him home and stuff, but there's hardly any time. "I barely see him, just him and me. We want to do something special for this."

"And it's _great_, really, I'm glad you're so serious. But we're going to Cincinnati with Stephen for the weekend." There was no way that Puck was spending the weekend in Cincinnati without Quinn, least of all Stephen and his family.

"No. I am not. I'm not spending Thanksgiving weekend in another city with your boyfriend's family when I can be at home, with my boyfriend for our anniversary." He pushed himself out from the table in the kitchen and went upstairs, ignoring Judy calling after him. It was the girl thing, he was fairly certain that was all it was, but there was just this annoying clench in his chest that tightened any time Judy and him started arguing and he hated it. Because he wasn't even her daughter, and he shouldn't care enough to start arguing with her.

"Quinn," Judy just follows him upstairs, pushing the door open and comes into Quinn's room. Puck stands by the end of her bed, arms crossed under his boobs, glaring at her. "Don't you dare start this. This is a good thing for me, don't ruin it."

"I'm not trying to, I'm all happy or whatever that you're getting out there and dating. But you only told me about this guy like two days ago, and you want me to drop _everything _and spend Thanksgiving weekend with his family? What about what I wanted?" He spends enough time with Judy to know what's going on with her, but he's not all that interested in going beyond that. He does not want to spend a weekend with her and her boytoy, least of all when he knows no one.

"You can see Noah when you come back."

"He's taking me out. On Saturday. For our anniversary. He's actually remembered, three months is like the longest he's ever been in a relationship and he's got something planned. Please, mom, this is a big deal for us." Really, Puck would tell her anything if it got him out of going to this stupid thing.

"He's already planned something?"

"Yes, like new clothes worthy something. Like getting everything waxed worthy something and new shoes. Santana and Rach and I are going shopping after school tomorrow for something. C'mon mom. You've gone away for the weekend before, I promise I'll behave and call and whatever, but please don't make me go." He can tell that he's almost got her.

"You really like this boy?" And Judy isn't all in on the idea of her little girl dating 'Puck'. Not entirely, because he was the guy who got her pregnant and Ms Fabray is aware that he's the same boy who has had sex with half of the female population of Lima. But when Quinn's over, she plays it as nothing but polite so it's not like Judy actually has anything to complain about when it comes to her interactions with Noah.

"I love him." He pulls out the most pathetic, whining and pouting voice and face that Quinn can possibly make when he says it. He's not even lying because he loves Quinn and she loves him so there is no actual lie there. In the end, it's probably what makes Judy cave to it. She intends to go with Stephen to Cincinnati on the Tuesday and stay through to the Sunday night. Which gives him from Tuesday night to Saturday night with Quinn and that just makes his damn week. Even if he does have to promise to no funny business –which probably means no parties, but it wasn't like Puck was planning one- and she says that if Noah intends to stay over, Quinn has to call and let Judy know.

He figures that if he calls on Saturday to tell her that's enough. Even if Quinn sort of just moves in for the duration of the break.

#

The thing about Rachel picking him up in the morning rather than Quinn isn't just the lack of making out, but the lack of coffee, because Rachel appears an hour earlier than anyone else is logically going to get out of bed and it just makes no damn sense. If Puck had his way, he'd be in bed until half eight and barely show up in time for his first class at ten to nine.

"No uniform today?" He'd opted out of the Cheerio's uniform because there was no practice today, no games, and he was going out with Rach and San straight after school and he sort of hated being in the uniform all day.

"Nope." He just huffs, and he knows he's still in a mood from the night before, but that tends to happen now that he's a girl. "If we're going out, I'd rather not be wearing the red and white like a damn beacon all afternoon."

"Okay, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Why do you think something's wrong?"

"You're wearing jeans, your hair is a bit of a mess and you have the minimal amount of make up on that's possible. Did you and Noah have a fight?" What he really hates is how, when he gets fed up with all the girl stuff, everyone assumes he's fighting with Quinn. Seriously, maybe he just slept in that morning.

"No, okay, Puck and I are fine. We're great. We're planning a nice Thanksgiving weekend together which will include a surprise in the form of him actually remembering our anniversary and taking me somewhere and my mother, who just sprung her boyfriend on me two days ago, wants me to go to Cincinnati with her and him to meet his entire family when I barely even know anything about him." Yeah, he got Judy to agree to him staying in Lima for the weekend, but it's the principal that counts. "Seriously, she wanted me to miss my three months with a boy who used to only make as far as three days with the same girl, because she's got some hot new boytoy to flaunt around."

"Okay, Quinn, you need to calm down."

"I am calm, okay. This is me being calm. You should've seen me last night, if you had, you would know. This is calm." The rest of the drive is quiet and Puck can't wait until he gets Quinn's car back because this early morning being a passenger thing is a total drag and he hates it. Rachel doesn't talk until they pull up into the school parking lot and then it's just to try and placate her.

"Do you think if you told her you were staying with Santana or something she'd let you stay?"

"I'm staying. I convinced her to let me stay on my own while she went to meet the boyfriend's parents. I have stupid rules to deal with, but I'm staying." Rach just shakes her head again, clearly not understanding. Frankly, Puck doesn't really get it himself, he just reacts a whole lot differently to stuff these days.

"Come on, we'll get you something to drink, I'm thinking green tea, by the way, and then we'll wait in the library until Noah's likely to show up and then you can just see him and try and feel better."

"I resent the implication that I require Puck to make me calm down and 'feel better'." Funny thing is though, almost forty five minutes later when Rachel drags him over to Quinn, he totally feels better when Quinn just wraps her arms around him and kisses his head.

He's such a fucking girl.

"So, Judy's boyfriend seems okay. I might've made a not so great impression, but Judy is going to Cincinnati to meet his family from Tuesday to Sunday, so, free house. Also, Rachel is crazy. And stupid. And I'm in a mood with her." Quinn just laughs at him and wraps her arms around his shoulders tighter.

"Free house means I can stay over?"

"Yeah, I need to tell Judy that you're there on Saturday, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her, right?" It's generally how he feels about his own mother too. If he told her everything she'd have had a heart attack years ago, so this is much better. He'll just limit how much Judy finds out and move on from there. "Do you have any idea where the hell Rachel is taking me today?"

"Not a one. She's in secret agent mode. I think it's just something to do while she's single. But hey, you've got five more days and then we'll be free of all interruptions while Santana deals with her family and Rachel heads off to Chicago."

"Yeah, what about you? No fear that Finn'll try and work in a boy's night? Sam and Mike inviting you over of video game marathons? Artie pulling the bros before hos card?" Quinn just laughed at him, walking them down the hall and, tragically, towards his French class with Hummel.

"They'll just be told, I'm playing house with my girl and that's that." Puck just rolled his eyes, expecting the quick kiss that came as he approached his class and the grin on Quinn's face afterwards.

"Guess who's doing all the cleaning up? And I plan to make the biggest mess possible."

"Looking forward to it, Q." Really, this whole thing was far too comfortable, but he just couldn't work up the energy to hate it.

#


End file.
